Esby here, and I'm at a Republican fundraiser at a mansion in Rio Villa, CA. I scored the press pool for the event, and I'm excited because there's actually a pool. The only thing is, there's a bunch of penguins running around, but no pols. People are dressed to the nines, they've got Mexican immigrant children rolling out little red carpets in front of them every where they walk.
Other immigrants are walking around with sturgeons that lay roe right on a cracker for you. And I'll have to say, I have never seen a toilet that flushes Cristal before I came here. I also wish I could afford the $80,000 diamond cutting cheese slicer they use to cut the moose cheese they import from Sweden here.
Anyway, I was stupid enough to bring a jacket to the fundraiser and it's a balmy night, so I thought I'd put it in the closet. And as soon as I opened it, there was Chris Lee, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, Glenn Murphy, Bob Allen, and about a dozen other guys. And it was hot and sweaty in there and they all looked really uncomfortable. It was all way too awkward, and nobody looked like they wanted to come out.
So I decided I would close the door and try to pretend nothing happened. But $800 scotch doesn't even put a dent in that memory.
That's just Obama bashing, pure and simple.
—Bill O'Reilly on the those that criticized Barack Obama for having the time to fill out NCAA brackets.
How long until they give him shit on his Final Four? Ulp, too late.
Well, when the South fired on Fort Sumter, killing no one, Abraham Lincoln blockaded every Southern port, sent Gen. Sherman to burn Atlanta and pillage Georgia and South Carolina, and Gen. Sheridan to ravage the Shenandoah. He locked up editors and shut down legislatures and fought a four-year war of reconquest that killed 620,000 Americans — a few more than have died in Gadhafi's four-week war.
—Pat Buchanan, blaming Abraham Lincoln for the Civil War.
I miss the old days, when you could beat the New York Times pay wall by just stealing your neighbor's copy from their doorstep.
—Adrian Chen.
If you are not epileptic, you will be after this.
—Stephen Colbert on the new Tim Pawlenty ad.
Former SNL star Victoria Jackson thinks Glee is turning boys gay. I think Victoria Jackson is more to blame for that.
—George Takei.
I’m through whining about a liberal press that holds especially conservative women to a different standard because it doesn’t do me any good to whine about it.
—Sarah Palin.
I'd like Sarah Palin to be held to any standard.
Why are they crucified and beaten up and smeared and besmirched?
—Sean Hannity, on the birthers.
Because they're misguided?
If all we are faced with are candidates that are too far right so that they can't win the general election, then that's when I'd reconsider doing it.
—Rudy Giuliani.
Just wait until we are faced with any candidates, first.
I'll leave it to someone else to muse about the media ethics on display here. I don't see any problem with, say, the Caller reporting stories about the Supreme Court while Thomas is on staff. Her husband's on the court; she isn't. I'm just amazed that conservatives are willing to keep on doling out welfare for Thomas to do... whatever it is she says she's doing at this point.
—Dave Weigel on Ginni Thomas' new gig at the Daily Caller.
Andrew has now gotten exactly what he wanted. He doesn't need to publish his idiocies at the Huffington Post. But getting banned from the Huffington Post proves his thesis about the repressive, anti-free speech liberal media. And he'll never shut up about it.
—Alex Parene, on Andrew Breitbart.
No. I thought to myself if I cannot do what I have to do as a public leader, I would have resigned.
—Newt Gingrich.
What age do they think we are living in? I know you guys hate the media, it doesn't mean your image doesn't appear on videotape. You're hypocrites, not vampires.
—Bill Maher, on Newt Gingrich's flip flop on Libya.
Newt Gingrich was so discombobulated this week he made a pass at his current wife.
—Bill Maher, on the fallout from said flip flops.
Despite the fact we routinely have more viewers than two of those Sunday shows, the Obama team felt no need to explain to the millions of you who watch this program and Fox News, why they have sent US servicemen and women into combat. We thought you'd like to know.
—Chris Wallace, on Hillary Clinton and Robert Gates skipping Fox News Sunday.
Fox News is in last place on Sundays.
This is about a war in Libya. So, that was actually pretty douchey of the White House, and WE ALL LOSE because instead of Clinton and Gates, we get Sunday Morning muppets John McCain and Joe Lieberman.
—Jason Linkins on the same thing.
I hereby promise not to intimidate the Wisconsin GOP. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to intimidate the clerk at a CVS and see if my coupon for Coke Zero is still valid.
—Dave Weigel on getting blowback from the Wisconsin Republican Party for questioning why they want a open records request for all emails regarding UW Professor William Cronon, who wrote a personal blog post criticizing the ALEC.
Although an individual-based society can also be a good society, when it comes to a crisis, you can only hope that people will be less selfish, and more selfless.
—Amy Chavez, on the crisis in Japan.
In a post late yesterday I laced into Drum for things that I should have ascribed to Greg Sargent at the Washington Post. Someone had sent me an email of Sargent’s post but I didn’t realize the formatting was all screwed up and I ended up thinking Sargent’s comments were part of Drum’s. As I was having page-loading problems, I just relied on the email after a too cursory check of the original sources.
—Jonah Goldberg.
"My dog ate my homework" is so complicated these days.
He’s got 86 people now on staff at Media Matters—eighty-six!!!—and the CEO of Media Matters said, “Oh, we need to hire some more”—he was fundraising—“We need to hire some more because it takes a lot of people to correct Glenn Beck’s nonsense.” There are 10 people!!! Ten!!! That work on this program. Ten that put it together. TEN!!! It takes 86 to try to tear us down!!!
—Glenn Beck.
Well, at least he's responsible for a lot of job creation, I guess.
I've been appreciative of the French for a long time. Ever since they helped us win our revolution here.
—Michael Moore, after Stephen Colbert accused him of being French.
But best of all, New Hampshire can change its slogan from 'Live Free or Die' to 'Live Free and Die'. Why should we have to choose?
—Stephen Colbert, on New Hampshire's recent ten cent tax reduction on cigarettes.
There's a reason Joe Biden's Secret Service code name is Unforced Error.
—Jon Stewart, on a reporter being secluded in a closet during a fundraiser Biden attended.