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Yeah, yeah, it’s my birthday and it is the big Six O.  

Over the decades, I’ve heard this line a countless number of times, ‘Ha, ha you’re an April Fool.’  I’ve heard it so many times that for me it’s like the punch line of a bad joke.  

I haven’t heard a good joke on my birthday in a long time, so if you’ve got one please tell it in the comments.  I haven’t had a good practical joke played on me on my birthday in nearly a half century.  

I’m one of those serious first born, so being born on April Fools Day kind of flummoxed me as a kid.  How unfair!  Probably in another 10 or 20 or 30 years I’ll be glad just to make it another April Fools Day. Everyone had a 1/365.25 chance of being born on that day, and my number was up on 4/1/51.  But thanks to 4/1 I ended up with a high draft number, so the day had at least one benefit.  

My Mother said I was named after Douglas MacArthur.  He was in the news back then as HST was getting ready to can his ass about 10 days after I was born.  I suspect I wasn’t the only boy born around that time to be named Douglas because of MacArthur.  

And.I.Am.60!  It use to be when I was young that 60 was demarcation line for old age.   Recently, I read that the majority of boomers think old age doesn’t begin until 72 so I’m once again young.  At least I’m not as old as I would have designated myself not so long ago.

I feel pretty good.  For the most part I don’t feel like I’m 60.  Well, my left knee does feel like 60.  I woke up one morning last September and it was aching, and it’s pretty much been aching since that day.  Arthritis – it’s the malady of the ‘new 40’ year olds.  My shoulders feel like 60, but they’ve been feeling like 60 since I was 30.  The shoulder pain I have is caused by me being a scrawny 145lbs football guard slamming into 200lbs football players in high school.   Other than those couple of groinks I feel pretty good.

Most importantly, in mind and spirit I’m still crazy after all these years.  

Some of my more memorable bdays over three score of years:

8ish (could have been 9) – It was the birthday I got my left handed first baseman mitt.   This was the only bday where I can remember the gift I received.   Baseball was a big deal to many boomer boys back then.  After opening the gift, I immediately went outside and played catch in a snow storm.

20 – The best joke I played on a lot of people.  I was the news editor of my college daily newspaper.  It was a 16 page daily with AP wire service and other wire service syndicated products.  That year on April Fools Day I persuaded the editorial staff to do a complete April Fools joke paper.  I wrote the lead story with a banner headlined:

Red China Invades S. Vietnam

Hundreds of thousands of Red Chinese Troop plunged across the S. Vietnamese DMZ yesterday dramatically expanding the Vietnam War.  Early reports say Chinese forces have surrounded the U.S. 101st Airborne Division near the S. Vietnamese hamlet of Bas Ton.  

I sat across from one of the newspaper distribution points, and watched for students’ reactions.  There were some jaw dropping facial expressions when students picked up the paper.  One tall guy groaned, slumped against the wall and said to the girl he was with, ‘They’re going to draft me for sure.’

21 – In Milwaukee.  Sure the perfect town to turn 21, but I was there for a cause.  The 1972 Wisconsin Primary was on April 4th, and I was working for the McGovern Campaign organizing Milwaukee’s northern suburbs.  I went to Milwaukee in early January when Senator McGovern was at 1% in the polls and I was the second full time person working for the Senator in the Milwaukee area.  By the time of my birthday we had the momentum and we knew we were going to win.  I had a good time celebrating my 21st with campaign friends.  That was probably the last night I got some sleep until the night the Senator won the primary.    

24 – I was in love and spent the day with the beautiful, smart, sassy woman I was wooing.  We spent the day in the Cities.  Had a wonderful lunch at Dudley Riggs and kicked around the West Bank.  By the end of the day the vibe she was giving me convinced me she loved me.  This is my fondest birthday.  We are still together.    

I’ve had a lot of other great ones.   The best have always center around the love I’ve received from my wife and children.  

At 60  I still can say, ‘hope I die before I get old’.

Here’s a link about the history behind April Fools:

One other thing, if it’s your birthday fess up that, ‘Ha, ha you’re an April Fool.’

Originally posted to deepsouthdoug on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 06:16 AM PDT.

Also republished by oo.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (16+ / 0-)

    The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? William Butler Yeats

    by deepsouthdoug on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 06:16:50 AM PDT

  •  Happy Birthday! (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Eddie C, deepsouthdoug, politik, JimWilson

    Getting older is painful, especially to the joints. Get that knee looked at.

    In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God ~RFK

    by vcmvo2 on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 06:40:37 AM PDT

  •  Happy Birthday (11+ / 0-)
    A tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat.  It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"  "$12 for the rat, $100 for the story," says the owner.  The tourist gives the man $12. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."  As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him has grown to hundreds, and they begin squealing.  He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the water as he can.  Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay after it, and are all drowned.  The man walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "you have come back for the story?"  "No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze Republican."
  •  Q: What's the difference between (4+ / 0-)

    Sarah Palin and a rattlesnake?

    A: One is a venomous creature of limited intelligence.  The other is good for controlling the rodent population.

    Scientific Materialism debunked here

    by wilderness voice on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 06:57:12 AM PDT

  •  Happy Birthday! (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    deepsouthdoug, blueoasis, JimWilson

    lovely diary.  especially the 24th birthday bit.  have a great day with your sweetie.


    by politik on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 06:59:55 AM PDT

    •  Are you and your bride still in the Twin Cities? (0+ / 0-)

      Doesn't seem to fit your deep south tag.

      Finally, the snow is disappearing here, and that's no joke.

      •  I was in the Deep South (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        But I've been back in MN for the last 2 years.  Diary on it here:

        A couple of hard winters for a guy that spent 15 years in the South.  

        We're in Southern MN.

        The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? William Butler Yeats

        by deepsouthdoug on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 10:47:51 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Minnesota is a place (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          that people keep coming back to.

          I've been here or Wisconsin 40 out of 45 years. Hard to get away.

          Winter sucks (especially this year), but that other month of the year is really nice.

          •  Except for the mosquitoes in that 'other' month (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            I've got about 23 years in the Upper Midwest.  

            The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? William Butler Yeats

            by deepsouthdoug on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 11:08:51 AM PDT

            [ Parent ]

  •  My favorite joke (4+ / 0-)

    This is an engineer's joke, originally heard it from a 3M engineer who worked on electrostatics.

    A fireman, a priest, and an engineer are playing golf.  They see a slow moving group ahead of them, and worry that they will eventually be held up by the group.  After griping about "golf etiquette" and "slowpokes", they eventually catch up to the slow moving group.  After muttering a few choice epithets under their breath, one member of the group turns to them and says, "I apologize for how slow we are.  This is a group of fireman who were saving dozens of orphans when they were blinded when the roof collapsed."

    The fireman says, "Oh my god, the Holy Grace Orphanage Fire!  I remember when that happened, these guys are legends in the Fire Department!  There are no greater heroes than these guys, I don't care if I have to wait a year for them to play through."

    The priest says, "I used to be the rector at that orphanage.  They saved the lives of dozens of precious children that day, and every child survived that horrific fire.  I will say a novena for each fireman tonight."

    The engineer says, "Why don't they just play at night?"

    •  Another engineer joke... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Murphoney, deepsouthdoug

      Q:  What's the difference between mechanical and civil engineers?

      A:  Mechanical engineers build weapons systems, civil engineers build targets.


      I'll be turning fitty myself this summer.  I gotta say, 72 (or 60) is sounding younger all the time!

      Happy b-day to you; make it a great day!

      "Push the button, Max!" Jack Lemmon as Professor Fate, The Great Race

      by bartcopfan on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 08:10:05 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  On this day of introspection, it just so happens (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    deepsouthdoug, badger, JimWilson

    Rene Descartes walks into a diner and takes a corner booth.  When the attractive brunette comes up to take his order, snapping her gum, he asks about the specials -- "What do you recommend?", he says.

    "Well, we are known for our beef stew," she replies, "And there's some fresh bread coming out of the oven."

    That sound good to him and, after few moments of anticipation, a huuuuge and heaping, steaming, rich and savory bowl arrives accompanied by thick slabs of soft and crusty loaf and a big, unhealthy plate of pats of butter.  Rene thanks the brunette, leans forward and tucks in lustily.  And the stew is awesome.  The beef is tender, the veggies firm, the gravy's thick and dripping down his chin as his fork and knife and bread and butter are flying around, all in motion all at once.  

    He finishes the whole thing, sops up every drop and morsel with the last piece of bread, leans back in his booth and stretches his hands across his distended belly, sighing oh-so-contentedly as the brunette comes back over to check on him.  "Can I get you something else? Coffee? Dessert? We have apple pie today..."

    "Oh, I think not," says Descartes. And *POOF* he disappears.

    It seems curiosity has killed the cat that had my tongue.

    by Murphoney on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 07:30:14 AM PDT

  •  A sexy prank for a 60 year old. (3+ / 0-)

    An older friend was visited regularly during the week by Meals-on-Wheels. While the food was certainly good, it was the company of the Meals-on-Wheels volunteer that really brightened up Ted's day.

    One week, we decided to get Ted's juices racing.  We invited a particularly comely friend to substitute for the Meal-on-Wheels volunteer.

    When our lovely lady was greeted by Ted at his front door, she said, "Today is a good day, Ted. The lunch special is super sex."

    Without even raising an eyebrow, Ted replied, "Well, if it's all the same to you, young lady, I'll have the soup."

    ----- GOP found drowned in Grover Norquist's bathtub.

    by JimWilson on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 07:54:50 AM PDT

    •  I hope I'm about 25 years away from that (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      The darkness drops again but now I know That twenty centuries of stony sleep Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? William Butler Yeats

      by deepsouthdoug on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 08:07:08 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Happy Birthday (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JimWilson, deepsouthdoug

    And here's a bad joke someone here posted a couple of weeks ago:

    An elderly Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on
    reviving her husband's libido.

    'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

    'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

    'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'.
    It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it
    Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..'

    It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly
    inquired as to her progress.
    The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!
    T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

    'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

    'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the
    effect was almost immediate.
    He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants
    a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent me cups and
    tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and
    there passionately on the tabletop!
    It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

    'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor,' Do you mean the sex your husband
    provided wasn't good?'

    'Freakin' Jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!
    But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in
    Starbucks again.

    Hige sceal þe heardra, heorte þe cenre, mod sceal þe mare, þe ure mægen lytlað

    by milkbone on Fri Apr 01, 2011 at 08:36:37 AM PDT

  •  Happy Birthday (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    deepsouthdoug.  My husband just turned 6o and he looks pretty good for being just backdated.

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