GE Logo Now Tops Washington Monument
Pepsi now eyes Grand Canyon while Verizon claims Niagara Falls
APRIL 1, 2011—Despite huge crowds of protesters in the streets and the National Park Service’s refusal to grant a permit, the industrial giant General Electric last night illuminated a 140-foot neon version of its logo atop the Washington monument, which is visible for at least ten miles throughout the nation’s capital on a cloudless night.
The Supreme Court cleared the way for the sign with a ruling yesterday, decreeing that to prohibit GE access to one of our nation’s landmarks would violate the corporation’s right to free speech. In a 5-4 decision, along exactly the same lines as last year’s controversial Citizens United case, the court said that since corporations are defined as persons under U.S. law, “refusing to let General Electric display its logo would be tantamount to gagging individual citizens who wanted to speak their minds.”
The ruling has revived Pepsi-Cola’s project to build a 72-mile billboard along the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, and Verizon’s plans to apply special red dye to the Niagara River so that the water will be the same color as its logo when tumbling over Niagara Falls.
A spokesman for General Electric, Col. Oliver North (ret.) said, “I don’t know why they are so riled up. We’re using LED-certified lights, which conserve energy.”
FROM THE SPECIAL APRIL FOOLS EDITION OF ON THE COMMONS
Is it far-fetched in light of the Republican Party's (and its wholly owned justices) descent into insanity?
This diary brought to you by Corporate Capitalism and all the human suffering it creates. "There is no god but the Market, and dollars, yen, euros, and renminbis are its profit."
Name your favorite corporate ad on a national monument in the comments. E.g., The McDonald's Gateway Arch, etc. The White House and Capitol should provide many possibilities.
As my tag line says, What Would Robin Hood Do?