I was bullied throughout my teenage years. It was hell and i did seriously think about killing myself once at least once. But I am so glad I didn't. It did get better.
I wasn't bullied because I was gay. I am not gay. Even now I am not sure why I was... maybe there is no reason. I was not very pretty as a teenager, short, curly hair and LOTS of freckles and I wore glasses.
It started in Intermediate (Junior High here in America)... I can remember getting a used tampon put in my bag, being chased through the school. It got worse when I went to high school.
I got called all kinds of vile names... gropped by both boys and girls ... thrown in the big commerical rubbish bin... kicked, pinched.... you name it... it pretty much happened to me.
Consequently... I did very badly at school. And no I didn't tell anyone. I did not tell my parents, I did not tell the school. Don't know why I didn't except I did know that the school wouldn't do anything. Back in those days... there was no bullying policies even in New Zealand. It was just part of school.
One particularly nasty incident happened off school grounds where i was followed to a nearby park.. dragged under a bridge and nearly raped. They were scared off by approaching footsteps and took off. That night I seriously thought about killing myself.
But I didn't. I just cried myself to sleep. This is all stuff I never told my parents, nor anyone else.
I hated myself. I thought I was ugly and stupid. But eventually I snapped. After six years of this crap one day someone said something to me, called me a name which I don;t even remember and I punched her in the face.
It got around the school in a flash and that was pretty much the end of it. Now I am not advocating doing what I did but i had had enough. Things were not perfect after that but it was a hell of a lot better let me tell you.
If anyone reading this is getting bullied by ANYONE for ANY reason, don't do what I did and not tell anyone. Talk to your parents, or a friend or someone at school.
The sucides of the gay youth brought back a lot of bad memories. Even though I am not gay... some of the incidents remind me an awful lot of what happened to me.
The thing to remember, and i know its VERY hard to see when you are suffering... is that it DOES get better.. the bad stuff does not last forever, although it feels like it will never end... You will get through it... to the better times... to the fantastic times...
I have now been married for 11 years with a beautiful 10 year old son. My husband is wonderful. Take it from me, it does get better. It did for me.