and normally I would be looking forward to the end of the school day. I cannot.
Yesterday a former student was walking by my room during my planning period. The door was open and music was playing. He stopped. He commented that it was nice music, and I told him what it was. He seemed down, and mentioned that things were hard for him right then. He did not explain why.
When I glanced at my Facebook page in the evening I found out why - he had sent me an invitation - to his father's funeral tomorrow morning.
Later the event was updated to include the viewings this afternoon, for which most at school will not be able to come. The first is 2-4, the second, 5-9 (which will overlap with Coffee House, where student groups perform, and in which he has often been active). His mother said it would be okay to stop by in between.
I can think of nothing more important to do than to stop by - I can get to the end of the first viewing, and I am attempting to arrange my schedule to be able to attend the funeral tomorrow morning.
The most important part of teaching is the relationships. I teach adolescents, who are often somewhat fragile as they try to figure out who they are. They express their trust in you in somewhat surprising ways. Recently a young lady who was out of class for several days because she was singing in an all-star chorus showed up and handed me a CD - of the chorus performing. One piece was something very dear to me - Ubi caritas set by Muarice Durufle: I have always loved it, and it was performed at the memorial for a man who meant a great deal to me in my teaching. I was honored, and played it for her class the next day, to honor her back.
Marco, the young man who lost his father, is now a senior. On his Facebook page he noted that his father died at 49 and 350 days. If I get a chance to talk with Marco I will share with him that my own mother was 47 when she died, less than one week after I graduated from high school.
I know Marco's dad was very proud of him - this Fall, after a rocky start he won the 9-hole High School championship for our school system. He is a good students, and a wonderful person.
Facebook provides a way of students supporting one another that did not exist when I was their age. They are informed so quickly. I think of Greg, a young man who died between his sophomore and junior years. He had been ill, and students had formed a support group through Facebook. As a result many of them knew of his passing before his parents had been able to communicate that fact to many of their friends and family. And I knew because I received an email from one of his classmates.
That was the last time I went to a funeral associated with our school. I had taught his older sister and written her college recommendations.
With Marco, we are friendly, he has a good sense of humor, and we would stop and talk in the hallway from time to time. I would often see him as I would leave school at the end of the day.
Sometimes the most important things we do are simple things. It meant a lot to me that the young lady simply gave me that CD. She knows I love music, and she was opening herself up to me by doing that. That Marco, after chatting with me yesterday, decided to invite me to the funeral matters, and I can think of nothing more important than honoring that request.
Our presence in support of others, our acknowledging both their sadness and their triumphs, is an important connection. If I do nothing else as a teacher, if I model that for them, I have done something as important if not more so than any content knowledge they may acquire in my class, any honing of skill. We are learning together the importance of our shared humanity.
Marco's dad passed last Saturday. It took a while to organize and get the family together, and having the funeral and burial on the weekend worked best for them. Marco has been attending school, but it has been difficult. His friends have been reaching out to him, personally, and through Facebook.
I still have 6 classes. In my 3 non-AP classes we will spend some time reviewing using released questions from the state exams. I do not want to start another unit just before break. For the AP classes, we will spend a little time on one Free Response Question both to review and to practice, but I want to leave time for them to talk about whatever might be on their minds.
My ten days off will be very busy. Someone wants to interview me for a radio show in Miami. I have been invited to participate in a conference call about education. My wife and I have a meeting involving financial planning. I will have planning for the rest of the school year. I have several books to review.
I will start my break by leaving school immediately and driving about 10 minutes to the viewing. I can think of nothing more important to do. My student has reached out and shared his grief, asked for my support. He has it.
And that will be how I end my last day before school break.
Thanks for reading.
Peace.