Down the street from my home in NYC there is a shoddy junk yard, and painted on the wall facing the street is a sign that says "Take the stones they throw at you and use them to build your castle."
Today, that is what I want to think about. Not what has been broken, but what can be built anew.
I cried my eyes out, overwhelmed by the support I received here, like a weight lifted off of my shoulders, the weight of the world. I made some phone calls. I am getting help. Strong men also cry. Strong men also cry.
I really just wanted to write something brief today to let everyone know I am okay, my rent is paid, and I am getting help. I also wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out and helped, it means the world to me. We are not alone.
I am not going anywhere, I will be here for a long time, but for the next few weeks my writing will be of a more personal nature, rather than political. It is time for me to right my ship and decide what type of man I want to be, rather than letting the world define me, I want to create a healthy, positive reality for myself. I don't quite know how that works but I am willing to give it a try. It is time for something new, something amazing. It is time.
So I am going to discover some pretty amazing things about myself, things I had forgotten, and you are more than welcome to come along for the ride with me. I had forgotten what makes us strong is getting through these trials, what makes us amazing as human beings is how we help each other, but first we must help and be helped ourselves. I had forgotten my own strength. It turns out I am very strong, stronger than I know.
Thank you for reminding me.
So I am going to heal. It won't be easy. Nothing worth a damn is ever easy. But having friends can make the world of a difference.
Have hope. Through all my pains and fears I have always managed to come out on top. If I can do it, you can do it, and if you can do it, I can do it. I see the scars I have built up over the years and sometimes it makes me sad, but today I am going to start looking at them as badges of honor. I graduated from the school of hard knocks long ago. Now I feel like yesterday the school of hard knocks has invited me back to teach a few of the new students some things I know.
I have much to teach, and even more to learn.
So I am getting help, and I am going to try to be optimistic. I am going to take the stones that the world has thrown at me and I am going to use them to build my castle.
You can follow me on Twitter @JesseLaGreca