It's been a while since I've posted a Second Life diary. It's also been a while since I've been accused of sexism and posting pornography, so it must be time to talk about Second Life again.
Under what I still find myself calling the fold, we'll talk about what Second Life is, how I became who I am there, and why you don't have to do the same. I also want to talk about Cafe Wellstone, a meeting spot for progressives in Second Life.
Okay, readers, set the Wayback Machine to May 31, 2007 and the first Netroots Nation, called Yearly Kos.
Well, I couldn't afford to go to Vegas. And, frankly, Vegas terrifies me. So, when I heard that there was going to be a simultaneous virtual-world convention in Second Life for much, much less money I thought why not?
Here is the diary from that first YKSL, and what avatar I chose and why. Yeah, four years ago and change, now. Go ahead, I'll wait.
Here's the diary that I wrote a year afterward, for the first Netroots Nation in Second Life.
To summarize, I decided to attend Yearly Kos in Second Life virtually. And, due to a chain of events and decisions not entirely my own, and many of which I'm sure I'd make similarly had I to do them over again, I would up with an attractive female avatar.
Cue the photos.
Now to me this is no big thing - I mean, it's a video game av, right? But it's not just me, and Second Life isn't just a game. So what to me was purely an aesthetic choice (much due to expectations, yes - but also due to the Little Loner "Barbieing up" my male avs) came to be this Great Statement about feminism, and acceptance, and being judged by appearances and clothing choices.
So, for four years I've been female to a lot of people. From what people in-World tell me even those that have met me in Real Life tend to forget that Ms. Korobase's typist is a guy. That said, let's get the most common questions out of the way first. And yes, in italics are questions I've actually been asked by people in-World and in real life.
So, you think you know what it's like to be a woman now?
No. There are things that women go through, daily, that I will never experience or comprehend and I don't claim to. I have learned that appearance and dress can lend people to assumptions about ability, intelligence, personality, and behavior that are completely unjustified - I've had the uncomfortable experience of being "helped" with a computer issue by someone who was passing along something that I had taught them, for instance - but for every "pretty little thing like you won't understand this" that I get, there's a "we'll unquestioningly invite you to our party even though you're named Moody Loner". Both of these from appearance, and both of them insulting.
Then you do this for sexual reasons, right?
This is the most common assumption. Because apparently having an attractive avatar, and not being particularly shy about showing that avvie off, equals trying to "trick" people into "having sex". Stop me if you've heard that song before. Also, I don't know what your computers are like, but mine isn't really configured for that and I shudder to think what the USB attachments would look like. And isn't this assuming that all attractive women are good for or interested in is sex? Certainly there's sexism here, but I humbly submit that it's not mine.
So, you're trans or a crossdresser in real life, then?
No, I'm not. No more than an author writing a female character needs to be trans or crossdress to "get it right". I do admit that, due to a medical condition I've had all my life I am in constant pain and if you offered to move me to a body that wasn't in pain (or even was only miserable one week out of four) I'd buy it at black market prices and wouldn't ask questions. But assuming I'm trans or a crossdresser or autogynephiliac (which is a new one on me, I'll admit) isn't insulting to me. It may, however, be a slap in the face to the people that deal with those issues in their real lives on a daily basis. There may be insult here, but again, I humbly submit that it is not mine.
Your computer really sucks.
Yes. Yes, it does. I really, really need a job. And First Thing (after rent and groceries) is to get a gaming laptop.
Why do you do this?
Finally, a question that I can answer. Many of us in Second Life are here to be an idealized version of ourselves - stronger, young, better-looking, with the ability to have anything by rezzing and go anywhere by wishing it so. Were you, Gentle Reader, to try Second Life and meet us in-World as pretty much yourself, this would be the category that you would start in. Most people start here, and most never leave it, and that's OK.
Then there are those of us that want to get just as far away from who we are as possible. I can't speak for others, but my social anxieties from my awful childhood and medical condition cripple me in the Real World. I am, in many ways, unable to socialize as myself - so the obvious answer, though unavailable to me outside of role-playing games and the Internet, is to simply not be me.
I refer to Second Life as a game, and it is. It is a game wherein people have made and lost millions, started and ended real-life relationships, and gotten together to change the World. And no, you don't have to do it as a dolphin with breasts, but you don't have to do it as yourself, either.
I'd do Second Life, but it's stupid and I don't know anyone.
Here, Gentle Reader, I can help. I've been mentioning Cafe Wellstone - an online, in-World group of diverse, accepting progressives that gather regularly for networking and social events. Go to their website, here, to see our calendar of events. Then click here and a SLURL, or "Second Life URL" will open, and send you right to Cafe Wellstone.
Yes, it would probably be a good idea to set up a free Second Life account first.
We would love to meet you, and show you around. And there are plenty of places for progressives in Second Life, but Cafe Wellstone is a good place to start.
Due to the World of Warcraft guild and how busy and awful Real Life has been lately I only come in on Tuesdays, usually. But there are events all week and if you come in on Tuesday and you see Moodyloner Korobase not dancing with anyone and you ask politely, perhaps I'll dance with you.