I am no stranger to these parts. By now I have been a regular contributor to Daily Kos for nearly six years. There were times when my contributions were sporadic, but in the last year or so have become more frequent.
This is due in large part to me feeling more comfortable here, but it's also a function of the growing sense of despair that I made the wrong choice, some six years ago.
Let's go sub-squiggle and see whether or not I can make sense of those cryptic statements
Oklahoma is no longer strange to me. It took a while, but I figured it out eventually. That was the easy bit because I am the stranger, the incomer. So while I am comfortable in my new home, I am still a stranger to most people I meet as they have always been here, and oftentimes are meeting me for the first time.
I am not a hard person to meet. I am presentably turned out, the "Looks decent cart" was decently generous. I am old but look rather younger than my nearly fifty two years, although my young children are doing there best to dis-abuse me of any notion that my actual youth is anything but a distant memory.
So the total package is okay, until I open my mouth to speak. Then I am undeniably English, or sometimes South African, more commonly Australian. Some folk need to get out more. So suddenly people have to shift their thinking, and I can see them do it. It's a strange combination of surprise, shock and immediate higher interest. After all these years I am generally amused, and polite enough to give them a moment to regain their poise.
Generally, it is fair to say that folk around here do not expect to walk into their local bar deep in rural Oklahoma, and find a Limey running the Karaoke. So it takes them a moment. I also, when I meet anyone new, almost always have to repeat the first thing I ever say to them. The first time all they hear is how I speak, the second time they listen to what I actually said. All of this has me in good humour. I know I am different, and it's never an issue.
My wife tells me that whatever I am saying, however pointed or even harsh I may be at times, to American ears I always sound polite. Actually she put it rather more bluntly than that ...
"Steve, you can tell people to fuck off and they will thank you because they think you just said something nice to them".
I am yet to try this out, literally, but I do know what she means. Handling demanding drunks who think they are getting their hands on my $300 microphones at 1 am is something I have to do from time to time, and I am not always polite about it, although I do try to use humour to disguise the fact that I just said "Fat chance, try again when you can stand unaided".
But these are all things that form the rich tapestry of my life, and I welcome them as I welcome the sun in the morning, and the dusk that will surely follow. I like my life we are, as they say, poor but happy, and that is a degree of wealth that cannot be purchased.
Those six or so years ago I met a woman, I shall call her Jodie, for that is her name. I met her, as is becoming increasingly common, online. I lived in southern England and she lived in Tulsa. Now I'm all for long-distance relationships, but there are limits and something had to give. After a few successful visits, her to me and vice versa, something did give and in April 2005 I made the permanent move here. I have never regretted that decision, and the way things are right now, I never expect to.
It was family that decided for us really. Once we reached the point where we wanted to be together we were faced with trying to decide where. It would have been perfectly possible to live in either of our countries. Jodie had three very small children, the youngest was only eighteen months old. Despite the separation not being pretty, we both felt that those children needed their Dad. We could have found a way to take them to England, but that was not in their best interests so it wasn't going to happen. My two children are older and I hadn't been living with them for quite a long time. So it really was the lesser of two evils. Jodie's Dad was not a well man, although he was a wonderful man who has since died. He lived to see his daughter happy, and I am grateful I could give him that.
The reasons I came here are still around, but they are in much less sharp focus than they were back then, and that brings me to the bit in the title about this country needing to change.
We are in a position where we could give serious thought, at least in the medium term, to returning to England.
Let's examine the benefits for a moment.
I would go from no health insurance to full healthcare that is basically free. In my current position, if I contract anything other than a minor illness or injury, it would be cheaper for me to fly to the UK for treatment that to stay here and pay the bill.
Jodie, as my wife and a permanent resident would qualify for healthcare on the same basis, as would all three children.
Jodie is a qualified teacher in Special Education, those qualifications would be recognised and she would be free to teach immediately. I have many years experience, and qualifications in Therapeutic Child Care and I could work straightaway. I could do that here too but, quite frankly, the facilities don't exist that could keep me from tearing my hair out at the practises of the Oklahoma DHS.
The children could be enrolled in school with no issues, and they would get the benefit of a European education. They would additionally benefit simply from the experience of the travel, as many ex-Pats already understand. They could also attend UK Universities at a modest cost.
We would also be living in a country with a full welfare state, with almost no religious intrusion in our lives and with a government that broadly responds to the needs of it's people. That bit is arguable, but I sure would swap even the current UK government for the current US House of Representative. And don't get me even started on the Oklahoma State Legislature.
As I type this I am thinking that it all sounds pretty good.
The downside, because there always is one. Despite my boyish good looks, I am 52 in July (July 4th actually). I don't want to start again.
The kids still should not be taken away from their Dad who, despite once actually trying to do me real physical harm, now has me do his taxes, so we made progress.
Jodie's Mom would be heartbroken, and I wouldn't do that to her. It's not like we would be living close to my parents because they fled to France years ago.
Jodie, by the way, is a delightful person. Americans are generally frowned upon in England. Less so now that we have a President who appears to be human, but still not considered to be fully civilised yet. She would cope, but she might have some explaining to do. I didn't say that was fair. Life isn't, fair that is.
So here we are, and here we are staying.
America has to change. It has to change so that my American children can grow up with the same advantages, the same social justice, or even better, that is enjoyed by my two boys in England. It's unfair that they are taught in school to think for themselves. It isn't right that they get to go to college without having to break their parents financially. It's also a disgrace that the three here will need a Masters Degree to be considered "educated", while Europeans can travel the world on a Bachelors.
I hate it that my two gorgeous daughters could conceivably get themselves pregnant and have the government simply close down their options. My youngest would love to be a teacher. Just like her Mom. How can I encourage that and, at the same time, inform her that wonderful though that choice is, society will blame her for every kid that fails, and blame her for the countries economic woes too.
At heart, in my heart of hearts, I am inspired by the American people. I believe that this country is great, but also could be greater. I accept the idea that when America puts it's collective and talented mind to doing something, then that something gets done, and gets done in spectacular style.
I simply ask when will America set itself the task of improving the life of it's citizens, at least to the point where I no longer look across the Pond and think .... If only!