[XXX talk is avast, me hearties. If'n ye be offended by this (including dirty links, but no pictures), then ye best be shufflin' away)
I stand by Anthony Wiener. I stand by him because he did NOTHING that about 70% of men on the planet with a webcam, cellphone camera or digital camera have done before. I think for women under 40, that number is at about 96%. I know I show my dick off online all the time.
No, no. I'm serious. I do. I fucking love it, too. I've even just done it to random people! It's hot. And you know what's more? I'll bet you that most of you all have, too.
...and don't get me started with the right wing. Christ, the level of debaucherous hypocrisy and repressed sexuality is out of control.
Granted, it's kind of uncool that the congressman in question is apparently married, but that's his own private business. Don't let the fucking hypocritical right wing get away with creating another scandal like this.
See, I don't care than the guy lied. Most sane people would, too. If your boss asks you, "Is this your dick?" your first reaction would be to lie and say, "Of course that's not my dick, sir!" (unless you're in a porno, in which case you would say, "Why yes... that is. Would you like to see more?")
It's taboo but, like looking at (or possibly reading) porn, everybody with a mildly active libido does it nowadays. Yes, thats right. Most people take naughty or sexy photos of themselves. I don't need polling data to back me up on that, as merely existing is proof enough!
Like looking at porn though, its time to rip that little taboo scab off of society and make it more acceptable to to take naughty pictures of yourself.
The way I see it is... if everybody does it, then there really isn't much to be ashamed of, you know? I mean, is it embarrassing to admit that you've had sex before? Of course not. As a matter of fact, it's usually MORE embarrassing to admit that you HAVEN'T had sex before.
If you've never tried showing off online before... well... why haven't you? There's nothing to be afraid of, provided certain elements of the internet don't decide to take an obsessive interest in you. If you haven't tried it, than what are you waiting for? It's high time you learned about one of the most popular ways to get yourself and others all hot and bothered today!
So let's look at the ways to be naughty online, either with your spouse or someone else.
1) CAMERA PHONES
The simplest way to be naughty in the digital era is to use your cell phone. Most people have a cell phone. They're pretty ubiquitous nowadays, and even a crappy one is likely to have a camera. Just take your clothes off, get hot thinking about how horny the person you're about to show your body to is going to be when they see your big, throbbing cock. Stand in front of a mirror once your purple headed bathtub monkey is at attention and take a picture.
Now, open up your text message interface, choose to send an MMS (as opposed to an SMS) and select the picture you just saved on your phone. Or email it, if you have a smart phone.
Now, wait for the recipient to reply back, "OMG that's so big. I would do anything to suck it right now".
2) DIGITAL CAMERAS
If you have a digital camera, you can be a pornographer, too. Almost all of them even have a self timer on them, so you can just put the camera down and pose for it. Show off your meat spin or how many fingers you can get in!
And don't forget, most cell phones and digital cameras can also record video. This makes it even more exciting. There's nothing seeing your digital partner's reaction to seeing your cock blast ribbon after ribbon of white hot cum in the air... furthermore watching a video of some babe moaning in ecstasy as she climaxes with her big, pink vibrator.
3) IM CLIENTS & VoIP
Web Camming is the fun and exciting way to show your body off online. The best part is, there's no shortage of ways to do it! You can use IM and VoIP clients such as Skype, MSN or Yahoo.
You don't have to use your cam, either. You can just send photos back and forth with these, too. Although, in particular if you're a girl, most guys might not believe its use. There is a stunning number of men online who get off on pretending to be women.
4) CAM CHAT SITES
You can use websites like tinyChat.
You could go to the infamous Chat Roulette or Omegle if you want to show your dick off to a random stranger (I personally wouldn't do it, what with underage people and all, but they ARE supposed to be 18 before using those sites). You can even use a dedicated website for showing your body off to thousands of people, like Cam4.com.
And ladies, don't get all high and mighty on me. You girls do this stuff almost as much as us guys do! There's nothing wrong with that, either. It feels good to be ravished with attention sometimes. To have people begging for your email address or pleading with you to let them show you how turned on you've made them. Nothing wrong with it! Enjoy your sexuality. Don't be ashamed of it!
You know what we should do? We should have a good ol' fashioned online orgy. We can set up a chatroom with webcam capability and whoever feels like showing off can do so. Or, sticking closer to the "scandal", we can all send each other naughty pictures of ourselves.
And don't worry about how you look. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not model material (my lovely girlfriend, however, most certainly is). There is a frighteningly large amount of people out there who diddle themselves watching someone else piss or even shit in a cup. If you've got a few extra pounds, there's no shortage of guys who like BBWs or women who like their big teddy bears.
...don't even get me started on the gay community. A fat and hairy man will be worshiped as a king by some of those folks.
Guys, if you're "merely adequate" down there or even not terribly well equipped, you're fine, too. Most people don't care. Some people even like it. You could even embrace it and enter the wacky world of Small Penis Humiliation!
So it's time to modify the old phrase about there being only two things in life that are inevitable. Now there are 3 – death, taxes and engaging in sexual acts online.
Look, all kidding (kind of) aside, what Anthony Wiener did was nothing wrong. He's right to not step down, and no one should try and force him to do so. I'm not going to bother Googling for it now, but if I'm not mistaken, a majority of relationships in the industrialized world start online these days. Heck, I met my girlfriend online and, with any luck, I'll be proposing to her this year.
Showing off sexy pictures of yourself is no more shameful than having sex with someone you're in a relationship with (even if it is arguably cheating, but that's another matter entirely). It's just a part of the dating process these days. You're entitled to your privacy. We're living in a brave new world where, for better or worse, it's now possible to intrude upon someone elses sex life. You're never going to stop it; nor will you ever stop a bunch of trolls out there looking to ruin someone's life by trying to get hold of such private materials.
So the only way to combat it is to accept and embrace it. If that means seeing our politicians genitals from now on than, as much as some of them are truly revolting to think about like that (try to imagine Mitch McConnell furiously rubbing one off to April O'Neil hentai), it is what it is.