- erm, I mean, your Chairman's Quiz team . . .
See, while I have had the honor and privilege of having served on three different Pub Quiz teams in my five trips to YearlyKos/Netroots Nation, so far this year I have not succeeded in attracting any suitors interested in securing my services for Adam B's unique and über-wonky battle of wits.
In 2007, I was added to the Sniping Ilk squad at the last minute thanks to the pity/generosity of team captain DemocraticLuntz. My contributions, as I noted some time later,
were limited to several seriously furrowed brows, the occasional belated dawning of realization, one or two smacks to the forehead, and, if memory serves, an enthusiastically offered but ultimately completely incorrect answer to a question about Millard Fillmore.
In 2008, as a member of Terrorist Fist Jab, I was instrumental in attempting to win without actually, you know, winning.
In 2009, as a member of E.F. Lavender's, I helped my team to a second-place finish (pretty much the same way Sarah Palin had helped her team to a second-place finish the year before; that is to say, by way of an incessant stream of grating blather that left everyone within earshot dumber for having heard it).
So why would anyone want me on their team this year? Simple - every team has to have a weakest link.
That's me.
I'm like the guy on the academic decathlon team who fills out the quota for one "C" student.
I will make everyone else on my team look brilliant.
But if that's not enough, and you need more reasons to add me to your Pub Chairman's Quiz team, consider what else I bring to the table. I am a model of probity, morality and political acumen. Why is that important? Well, see, sometimes it's not about excellence, it's about simply avoiding disaster - just ask Anthony Weiner. And I promise I will help your team do that. How do I know? Simple:
In short, I will not do anything to embarrass your Pub Qu - damn! - your Chairman's Quiz team. I promise to bring to the event every bit of the dignity and gravitas it warrants.
And, unless Rick Santorum shows up, I look forward to once again easily laying claim to the title of Dumbest Guy In The Room.