I am feeling pretty helpless right now. My fiancee and I are both college students, who rely on financial aid (FAFSA) to pay daily living expenses, eat, buy books, and get gas to go to school. We decided that it would be easier on us if we went this summer term, since we are both so close to our associate degrees. Three weeks into the term, and we still haven't gotten a check.
The Statesman Journal, the local paper around here, did a story today about the sheer number of college students in our situation.
Here's the story, straight from the horse's mouth
Sabrina Lundeen and her roommates can't make rent, buy books or pay for their classes at Chemeketa Community College this term.
They are three of the nearly 1,000 students still waiting for financial aid checks from the college, which are at least two weeks behind schedule. Many students receive funds not only for tuition but for living expenses such as rent, childcare and transportation, which they rely on to stay in school.
"I had to borrow money from my dad just to pay for my books," Lundeen said, "I don't know what's going on up there."
We are in the same situation. We had to borrow from my fiancee's father, sister, and brother just to pay for food and gas. We haven't bought books this term, which for both of us, would carry a price tag of nearly 500 dollars. I got a book loan from the school, which the article in the Statesman goes on to talk about, but I had to pay rent. If we had instead used the money on books, we would have been evicted from our apartment.
See, this is what I don't get: here I am, twisting in the financial wind, living on 18,000 dollars for two people, having to decide between books, food, gas, rent, and internet and there are people on the right wing who think that I am lazy and living off the government. Please. I am trying to better myself by going to school. I suppose I could get a job and work full or part time and try to complete my education, but I have tried to look for a job already. There is fucking NOTHING around here. At any rate, my job history is so full of holes and question marks that there is no way in hell that I could ever get a job in this environment. I could work fast food, sure, but with limited availability (I have to, ya know, go to school to keep getting money and make something of myself) I got nothin'. There are 10 fucking people in line with open availability willing to work all hours. Why the fuck should Burger King or McDonalds work with me, when they could get someone who is available to work all hours?
So here my fiancee and I are, in this unsolvable catch 22. We have 100 dollars to our name to last for god knows how long. Our internet is about to get cut off, our power company is sending us letters saying that if we don't do something by the 22nd of July, they'll cut our power. We can't get food stamps because we are both unemployed students receiving financial aid. Hell, we can't even get a food basket, we got one earlier this month. I am utterly frustrated and exasperated with the financial aid office, who seems to think that lying to us and talking down to us will somehow solve our financial problems. On top of all of this, I am fucking nicking like hell. I have rolly cigs, but the tobacco is stale and I gag every time I take a drag of it. I know, last of my problems, but still, it doesn't make anything better.
The worst part of all of this is the utter feeling of powerlessness that both of us are currently feeling. There is no recourse for us, there isn't a supervisor I complain to, no one I can lodge a grievance with. We just have to wait, and sit here and twist in the wind until financial aid finally gets to my and her application.
I know they are switching systems and working overtime to get it all done...its just I am utterly frustrated with their handling of something so important to our survival. Add to that their nonchalant, uncaring attitude over the phone to us, the 40-90 minute hold times, the hour long waits in line just to talk to someone...I just feel like I am at the end of my rope.
Sorry to burden you guys with this, but I figure there is a reason these things are called diaries. I am just ranting against the wind here. There are people way worse off than me, at least I have an apartment and a pair of shoes and something to eat...but damn its easy to get depressed about this stuff.
Update: Thanks for the love guys. I appreciate the open ears.
Read some of the comments on the statesman journal article. Fucking disgusting. I never thought I would be thrown under the bus by the right wing. It was a matter of time I suppose. These people need to be stopped.