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I went home two weekends ago to visit family and commemorate ten years since my mother passed away. (Ob PSA: If you smoke, QUIT!!! Or cut down. Or do something to fight the addiction. Because it will kill you, sooner than you thought possible.) After the friends left, I was chatting with the remaining adult family...
Follow me below the dingledoodlesquiggliedividerthingie fold...
My almost 15-year old niece has a boyfriend and so eventually the (adult's) conversation turned to dating, sex, etc. In a room of Republicans and apathetic "Independents", this progressive, trained sexuality educator was keeping relatively quiet and sipping my merlot, when I heard "Well, you gotta do it differently with daughters than sons."
Yes, I think I quite audibly said "ExCUSE me?" I then clarified by asking if, in fact, everyone else was advocating for double standards when it comes to teenaged boys and girls.
To sum up a 4-way conversation (and yes, inject my nonobjective biases and snark but only a bit :-)): Yes, yes they were. Girls are too naive and trusting to know that boys can't think with anything but their hormone-driven dicks, and therefore need to be protected from the lines that testosterone-driven boys tell. You know, the "I love you's" and "If you loved me you'd < insert activity here >". So while boys need to date and kiss and whatever because apparently it is a biological imperative, it sure as hell wouldn't be with their daughters.
Brillig really, really has issues with double standards. Some of you know this :-).
After some gaping like a fish, a couple of false starts, and a refill on the merlot, I asked "OK, so daughters need to be protected from the boys. But whose daughters are going to be the ones to date your sons?"
That didn't go over well. You probably figured that.
I tried again. "Your sons, are they going to be the ones that other parents protect their daughters from?" The response was a resounding "NO. I'm going to teach MY son to respect women and treat them well."
"OK, so if you can do that with your sons, what about other people?" (Mind you, I'm thinking particularly about my niece's boyfriend, who seems to have established semi-residency at my sister's, but I digress...)
I got told I was taking this too seriously, and to cool down. So I poured another glass of wine and sat back to listen to the conversation go elsewhere, while I pondered what I'd heard. It really isn't far from, as I understand it, why women from a variety of conservative religious traditions wear shapeless nondescript clothing (or coverings), cover their hair, faces, ankles, etc - to protect them from the Predator half of the species. It's for their own good.
Upon further reflection, it also ties into the Tea Party's obsession with "Cutting Lazy Excess Useless Guv'mint Employees" ... which never seems to include anyone they know who works for the government. Because, of course, they, their families and friends are the exceptions. Like "our" sons, who will be nothing like Other People's Sons.
Hrmm, I started out in one place and ended up elsewhere. What do you think about double standards, teen sexuality, Tea Party hypocrisy, or whatever else you glean from this diary?
For the record, I don't feel I need to protect my daughter more than my son, or that my son is any less capable of either being deceived by sweet words or of behaving responsibly. I've got smart friends on both sides of this discussion.
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Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
From AllanTBG:
Unenergy had a great comment in Brit's diary FALL OF THE HOUSE OF MURDOCH XVII: BREAKING: "Dynamite" Revelations about James Murdoch.
From blue aardvark:
In my diary about Paul Ryan charging for admittance to town halls, dmhlt 66 finds the perfect analogy.
From trashablanca:
shanikka posts a brilliant diary masquerading as a comment in Vyan's most excellent diary from this morning.
From joanneleon:
This is an excellent comment by Grassee about the differences between political liberalism and economic liberalism, and he also brings in a recent example, the public option, to help illustrate his point.
From Yours Truly, brillig:
NJ Governor Chris Christie wants to make sure no one gets a free rape exam. karenc13 wonders what next?
Don'tcha just hate it when, as Hunter diaried, your own family sells you out? His response to jmfromga's defense of the little white lie was wonderful!
Top Mojo for yesterday, August 15th, courtesy of mik's technowizardry:
1) This is an award-winning diary... by bobswern — 199
2) you mean where he talked about how by James Allen — 157
3) Thanks. by zubalove — 131
4) Obfuscation by bruh1 — 125
5) The really amusing thing by Dallasdoc — 125
6) Ah, the monthly red-meat-to-the base speech by Dallasdoc — 123
7) I'm sure he proposed some sort of revolution by Cassiodorus — 116
8) Except for two things by Adam B — 115
9) Thank you! by noweasels — 112
10) I'm gonna do it!! by Diogenes2008 — 110
11) Bravo. Wish I could give more than 1 tip by Johnathan Ivan — 109
12) No, you have been here all along. Just hiding by bruh1 — 109
13) Dramatic much? nt by Nashville fan — 105
14) But POTUS picked this staff. by srkp23 — 103
15) I have never understood by Phoebe Loosinhouse — 101
16) I come here less and less. by psilocynic — 101
17) I'm not a big fan of these types of diaries by Armando — 100
18) O what a magnificent liberal by Dallasdoc — 98
19) Tax the rich to rebuild America by Dallasdoc — 97
20) A new version of an old line. by Aeolos — 97
21) "Coddling" is a good word to use there. by G2geek — 96
22) I wish Buffett and others, by blueoasis — 93
23) The letter is signed by Donald Pattillo by Bob Johnson — 93
24) Dear shanikka, by Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse — 91
25) NO ONE is required to apply for SocSec. by WiddieDawg — 90
26) Well, I'd like him to be more direct, but maybe by MinistryOfTruth — 86
27) And I don't think by snoopydawg — 86
28) Long time no see by Dallasdoc — 84
29) Besides running a community health center by Dallasdoc — 84
30) Awesome! by librarianman — 83
31) It smells of AstroTurf... by theKgirls — 83