I received a comment on my first submission that suggested I elaborate what I know about local food insecurity issues. Well, dag, that's not why I visit DailyKos. I visit to get away from my job and read up on other issues. After some mulling, I decided to write a few things that pertain to people struggling after a job loss and/or working but not earning enough to make it. Respectfully, this post relates to self-image. Some background:
Years ago, I was in line at the unemployment office. With my infant son tucked in my winter coat, waiting for the doors to open. Numb with disbelief that I brought my baby to such a place. I've washed clothes in the bathtub because I didn't have laundry mat change. Picture pants rolled up and stomping grapes. I've woken up in the middle of the night; sure I was having a heart attack. I've said the most God awful things to my spouse. Fear-drenched streams of consciousness followed by the knowledge that I crossed yet another line I smugly thought earlier I’d never cross. I've lied. Told people I was working somewhere vague or working a project. All the while feeling the truth literally come through the pores on my face. I learned the hard way that long-time friends and relations believe to the core of their beings that people who struggle must be bad. And that people who have money and straight teeth with sparkling eye glass lenses are inherently good and control their own destinies.
Awhile back I had a job where I visited clients in their homes regarding childhood nutrition education. Inside their homes. No veneers. I’ve seen chronic, grinding poverty that I could not believe with my own eyes. Within spitting distance of middle and upper income neighborhoods – city, suburban and rural. I’ve been on a military base and inside crumbling housing for enlisted families. Having driven by markedly different officer housing to get there. I understand how important manners and kindness are on both sides of the equation.
It's been several years since I got thrown in the deep end of the unemployment pool, but the basics are true today. Like so many, I had never been in such a situation before and was shocked at how overwhelming the effort is to seek even temporary help. I, too, wasn't familiar with the system. Now, I’ll grant you that the system today is more taxed by demand and strained by cuts. Try to be patient in line and on the phone. Don’t shoot the messenger. Know that many people working in agencies and government offices are really trying to do what they can for you.
Look people in the eye, don’t look down. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I remember when the economy started to really tank in 2007, a woman called the pantry from her car in the parking lot. Literally shaking and trying to screw up enough courage to walk in as a client and say the words, “I need help.” She asked me if I would come outside to meet her. Looking all over nearby desks, I spotted a big red plastic flower and grabbed it, holding it down by my side. I told her I wasn’t trying to be silly but that I’d be the one at the edge of the parking lot with a red flower. Well, it was a bit silly. Find ways to laugh out loud. Seriously, exercise. Even if it’s only running out of a room so you don’t explode on someone. You are worth it. Your family is worth it.
I have never regretted making a fool of myself for inquiring or offering assistance and being rebuffed. I have always, without fail, regretted the times I hesitated and did not offer.