While the East Coast still reels from the devastation of Earthquake Unnamed (btw, why is that? Why do hurricanes get names, and earthquakes don't? On the chance that this is a problem waiting for a solution, I hereby name the 8/23/11 earthquake epicentered near Mineral, VA "Earthquake Zeke". Just because.), now looms Hurricane Irene on the horizon, hitting the media sweet spot of sudden potential disaster affecting Americans with easy footage opportunities. Bring on the scientists, the local interviews, heroic windswept journalists, and drool over the apocalyptic potential.
Well, far be it from me to pass up the opportunity. Hence the diary. Everyone loves a good apocalypse. Exhibit A, Earthquake Zeke, which apparently didn't hurt anyone, but everyone's still talking about. To Zeke's credit, it took out the Washington Monument, after W spent $100 million protecting it from terrorism.
I know that I've lived a privileged life, never having been devastated by a natural event, and of course I have full sympathy for those who have and will be. But I do take offense to the vorschadenfreude vampiric mode that the media reverts to, speculating on all the potential horrors about to visit us. They get audience, the audience gets thrills, and the stores get to sell all their toilet paper, milk, bottled water, duct tape, and whatever the hell else you're supposed to buy.
I've lived in the DC area for years, and we get hurricane dramas regularly. Trees blow down, power's interrupted, basements are flooded, but I have never run out of toilet paper. The media rolls in it like a dog in a horse's corpse for 3 days before and then takes out all the stops for the week after. And the audience loves it all, loves stocking up, loves battening down the hatches, loves the post-hurricane cleanup. I considered camping out for the hurricane, just to have the experience, but then I got a gig, and it did seem a bit irresponsible/unsafe. But I do plan to get out on the Potomac afterwards and kayak the flood...
So here is my Hurricane Apocalypse plan: (I rent, and am on the third floor...)
-Charged cell phone.
-Full tank of gas.
-20 gallons of water, using recycled containers.
-Only 1 roll of TP, I will use leaves if I have to.
I know, you homeowners have it a lot rougher. Trees looming all around, patio furniture, basements, and so on.
So tell me, how are you preparing for Apocalypse Hurricane Irene?