Given the lamentable field of GOP presidential candidates, and tonight's upcoming "debate", I couldn't help but wonder what they could do better. Then inspiration (or was it desperation?) struck: forget about Palin - what would happen if Katy Perry were to join the field?
This may at first blush seem absurd, but indulge me for a brief moment. After all, the GOP's most popular president started as an actor, as did the former governor of CA, Das Arnold.
Many of the current candidates have gone on record as stating that Government is the problem, not a solution to some of our problems. Imagine that. Imagine for a moment that you run a small fast food franchise and you need to hire your replacement. Several interested candidates show up, but nearly all of them tell you that the problem with your business is that there is an efficiency problem. The business is serving too many customers. They tell you that for the business to run optimally, you need to fire most of your staff. Fewer staff will result in fewer customers, and less capital will be required to run the business. Voila, a better-run business. Because, if you are serving fewer customers it must mean that fewer people need to eat. Makes sense, right?
It seems to me that if you want an enterprise to be successful, you would want to hire someone who believed fully in the worth and value of that enterprise, rather than someone who fundamentally distrusted it. But that's just me (apparently). Shouldn't the priorities of your new CEO include figuring out how to serve more people better? Isn't the idea of a democratically elected Government to promote the Common Good? By recent accounts shepherding the shared interests of ALL members of our society, rather those of a vested few, makes one a Socialist. That's odd, I thought that was the premise of Democracy...
Well, enough of my simple-mindedness. If a President Who Hates Government is the order of the day, then why go half way? Elect someone with no experience or interest in governing, but is likable (enough) and successful in a totally unrelated field. Enter Katy Perry.
Follow me below the Golden P's for more on Katy...
Looking at the current crop of GOP hopefuls, Katy Perry seems to share many of their best qualities. She is easy to listen to, entertaining to watch, and doesn't get bogged down in a bunch of complicated, relativistic, polysyllabic ramblings about facts, and rules and such. She is like us, one of the people. A real person. And if she needs to learn a few things about how to appear more authentic, well, we have an entire industry of handlers and specialists who can help her refine her authenticity, work out her messaging, and appeal to Mom and Pop in terms they understand.And here's the real secret: Anyone Can Do it. Because if you don't like government then governing is easy. The worse you do, the better the results! Just look at GWB - an unmitigated disaster domestically and internationally and a Great GOP President! He showed us the way.
So why go half way with Rick Perry? I'm pretty sure he would do a great job of wrecking things. But he has experience wrecking things. Like access to healthcare, the environment and the judicial system in Texas. By why stop there? There's plenty more damage to be done. And with his Theocratic tendencies, I'm confident he would do more. Like bringing down the Iron Curtain between Church and State. Who needs them to be separate anyway? Why submit to long-winded, well-reasoned discussions of the facts when God will give you the Cliff's Notes? After all, as President, Perry should have better things to do with his time. Like golfing or clearing brush on his ranch. Well, actually, the fires probably already took care of that for him. Anyway.
As for the rest of the GOP field, I'm sure Newt would be delighted to share the stage with KP. And maybe have a drink afterwards. He could giver her some pointers. Or something.
And watching Perry (K) debate Bachmann would be like watching Bachmann debate herself, as she imagines it. What could be more fun? And isn't that really what this is all about? Forget about good governance. It's hard work, and more than anything else, governance is boring. We deserve better. We deserve candidates who entertain and enthrall. In fact, we don't just deserve it, it is our right.