Back in April 2010, one relatively unknown and enormously humble diarist broke onto the world stage with an earthshattering smash hit called "
You Know You're Addicted To DailyKos When... ." Ever since then, he's wooed the masses with his wit, wisdom and ability to launch tasteful yet stern rants towards deserving authority. One of these masterpieces was
a sequel to his April blockbuster, published in January 2011. Within this work of art, he came up with a brilliant postulation called The Flame War Cycle™.
It works very well, and is useful for determining how far along we are in a site-wide argument. This cycle is applicable not only to flame wars, but to any major site happening (like this week's boycott, for instance). Let's look at the cycle itself, then we'll look at a few examples.
The Flame War Cycle™
1 - Catalyst diary
2 - Counter diary
3 - More counter/agreement diaries
4 - Counter diary to the counter diary
5 - "I'm not getting involved, BUT..." diary
6 - Snark diary
7 - Snark diary rebutting the snark diary
8 - 35 minutes of peace
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1 - The first step is the catalyst diary. Someone writes something mildly controversial, and it gets big recs and lots of comments.
2 -The second step is when someone writes a counter diary to the original. "I don't agree with you, here's why."
3 - The third step is when someone decides that the second step wasn't far enough...this is usually the flame throwing diary. "The original diarist is an evil bastard spawned from Stalin's third nipple."
4 - The fourth step is where it gets a little complicated. This is when someone will write a diary rebutting the diary rebutting the original diary. "No, the first diary was right and all you other haters can suck a salt shaker."
5 - This fifth step is where someone opens the diary by saying "Well, I really don't have an horse in this race, but I want to say..." and proceeds to take a stance on the issue anyway. Watch out for Marie Barone-esque insults in these diaries.
6 - The flame war is starting to draw to a close when someone gets snarky about it. "You all are wrong, and our evil Corgi overlords agree! [Insert 35 pootie/woozle pictures here] "
7 - It jumps the shark when someone writes a snarky diary rebutting the snarky diary. The flame war is essentially over by this point. "Corgi overlords? No! Labradoodle coup d'etat says you're wrong too!"
8 - 35 minutes of peace, after everyone realizes that the snark made it silly to argue this issue any further in a "serious" manner.
Let's look at an example of this cycle in action, using the hot-button issue of breakfast food.
Example: Bacon vs. Sausage
1 - Catalyst - I like bacon.
2 - Counter - No, I like sausage.
3 - More counter/agreements - Fuck you all, sausage/bacon rocks!
4 - Counter to counter - Sausage is good, no need for insults, but bacon is still the best.
5 - "but..." - I don't eat breakfast and I'll let you finish, BUT sausage is the best breakfast food evar!
6 - Snark - Pigs are an evil commie plot by the Obama, ooga booga!
7 - Snark about snark - Nay nay, pigs are actually a commie plot by the New World Order!
8 - Peace
And here's a real-world example of this cycle. The recent boycott isn't an example of a flame war, but it does follow the cycle pretty closely.
Example: The Great Boycott of 2011
1 - Catalyst - Call for a boycott
2 - Counter - No, don't boycott
3 - More Counter/Agreements - I'm not boycotting vs. I'm boycotting
4 - Counter to the Counter - (There wasn't one that I could find)
5 - "but..." - I'm not boycotting, but...
6 - Snark - I boycott your boycott!
7 - Snark to Snark - Boycott Star Wars!
8 - Peace - (No resolution yet)
All in all, it works pretty well. I expect my Nobel prize shortly.
Begrudging edit: GoGoGoEverton demanded co-author credit for pointing out that I was wrong and there was a snark diary before the Star Wars one. Humph. Okay. So...GoGoGoEverton gets credit for the word "The" in "The Flame War Cycle." :D