Noted constitutional scholar Hank Williams, Jr. is permanently gone from Monday Night Football (opens in new window). I don't watch Monday Night Football, and I sure as hell don't listen to that bloated imbecile, but I did pay attention to the story.
ESPN's statement said: "We have decided to part ways with Hank Williams Jr. We appreciate his contributions over the past years. The success of Monday Night Football has always been about the games and that will continue."
Spokesman Kirt Webster said Williams made the decision Wednesday night, while the network said it informed Williams of the move Thursday morning.
Williams, Jr. insists he wasn't fired:
"After reading hundreds of e-mails, I have made MY decision," Williams said in a statement to The Associated Press. "By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It's been a great run."
Umm, yeah, Hank... could we have a little chat about that amendment?
So, Hank, it's good to know why you're such a hero to the Bagger masses. You understand the constitution every bit as well as they do.
Since you're calling out the mighty powers of the First Amendment, you do realize that the Government (sorry, let me translate for you: "evil gubmint") didn't do anything to abridge your free speech, right? It was a privately-owned company that decided that they'd rather not have all your rowdy friends hang out any more. I thought you guys liked corporations, and wanted them to be free to do whatever the hell they want.
Whatevs. You don't understand that whole religion thing on the amendment either so it's not like this comes as a surprise.
Hey, but have fun with your rowdy dumbfuck friends. We'll miss you. srsly.