I rarely write diaries. I generally lurk. I spent tonight grading papers and trying to get myself to write another college recommendation - I've written 7 and have 7 more to finish before November 1. I don't have the energy for the latter, but I did finish the quizzes - and the grades were excellent - that's always a plus.
I'm tired - but not just from work.
I think my community is starting to succumb to the state of things.
We made national news (or at least regional news) last week when a man in our community killed his wife, his two little children and then himself. This afternoon another member of the community killed himself - his teenage son found his body. The community preschool that my 3 year old son attends barely has enough students to continue in operation - this school is a gem of a place and it may not last. There's a house a few blocks away that's empty and had the windows boarded up - possibly a foreclosure. My school district is almost certainly going to lay off more teachers and cut program, just as they've done for the last 3-4 years. The social fabric of the community is fraying.
We're a well off community - the most expensive house on the market is listed at 18.5 million dollars (but that's an anomaly) - but a lot of people are struggling, perhaps more than they want to let on. My neighbor's health insurance keeps getting worse and worse. Another neighbor had to stop contributing to the children's 529 plan. The house down the road just sold for 2/3 of its original purchase price.
Things seem to be slowly falling apart and even if it stops self-destructing, the things we all lose won't necessarily come back.
There's no diary here. Just a feeling of sadness and loss.