Since DKos protocol stipulates no nasty words in diary titles, I hope you aren't offended by what follows, which is just some random and jumbled up thoughts on the events of the day and past memories.
While much has been written about Scott Olsen and other vets joining the OWS movement, including the "Swiftboating" of Scott, the reality of being a veteran is complicated.
Every vet will have a different reaction of his or her's time in the service. Some view it with pride, some with ambivalence, and some with a visceral revulsion. I am not proud of my time in the Army because of what I was doing. What I was doing was participating in the mass murder of a people and their country.
Being young and stupid when I enlisted, I had no idea what we were involved in doing in Vietnam. I just knew that through the brain washing propaganda of the time, it was my "duty" to serve. Its the same story of many of my brothers and sisters in arms; the truth was not available to us at the time.
Over time I did learn the truth and when I did, it was an awakening. My friend Mike Hastie, who was a medic in Vietnam, has a few quotes I like to post every once in a while. This is one of his latest and resonates with me on what happens when you do learn the truth.
Awakening
"When you discover the truth through the
door of betrayal, and become a global
citizen, it is as if you acquired a quantum
leap in intelligence. The world you once
lived in is no longer your primary residence."
Mike Hastie
Army Medic Viet Nam
Getting back to the diary title. The word "Hero" is thrown around like a Frisbee, both by the left and the right, to describe anyone who joined up and served. I wasn't a hero by any stretch of the imagination. All I did was keep a Cobra Gunship flying and loaded for bear. How many of the rockets, 40mm grenades and belts of minigun ammo I loaded killed how many human beings, is a question I don't have an answer for. All I know is I loaded the gun and my pilot pulled the trigger.
Now we have a new generation of "heroes" coming back. I guess by attaching that label to them, we can collectively salve our conscience and hope the country treats them better than previous generations of returning "warriors" (another overused word).
I will not dispute that acts of heroism happen in combat. Usually its being in the right place at the right time (or wrong place at the wrong time). A situation develops and human nature kicks in. Its not for God and country, its not to save the world for democracy, its because it needs to be done. In the preface to his book "A time to lead", General Wesley K. Clark tells of a firefight the platoon he was leading got into.
"Get that gun going!" I shouted again, as I looked back under my left arm and saw the troops come across the little footbridge. They were there. And they came running. Those peace-symbol-lovin', foul-mouthed, cussin', war-hatin' draftee American soldiers came, right into the the firefight. They rushed into the smack of the bullets, and the whine of the ricochets. They were called forward and they came! God, I loved them.
That's what happens. They didn't want to be there, they hated the war, but they were there and the only way to not be there was to survive that day and the next day until they boarded the "Freedom Bird" home.
Let me tell you about another friend of mine. Jim was in Vietnam right after my tour. He was a scout dog handler, and a Ranger. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Cross, two Silver Stars, three Bronze Stars w/V device, and three Air Medals (25 missions per medal) and two Purple Hearts. The last Purple Heart was for when he got shot up bad enough to get medevaced to Japan. He is now 100% disabled from his wounds and PTSD. His take on why he got so many awards is that once you get one, they think you must be a bad motherfucker and if you do something else "heroic" you must deserve another one. All those awards and $1.50 gets him a cup of coffee.
If he had to do it over again, he wouldn't.
We lionize our "heroes" without realizing it comes with a price. Not one of then wanted to be a "hero". Most of it is done by those as Desiderius Erasmus, once said: "War is delightful to those who have no experience in it".
One such "hero" was Ira Hayes. Ira Hayes was one of those who raised the flag on Iwo Jima in the famous photograph and survived. He was sent back to the States on a war bond tour and then forgotten. As Peter Lafarge wrote in his song, "The ballad of Ira Hayes",
Now Ira returned a hero, celebrated throughout the land
He was wined and speeched and honored, everybody shook his hand
But he was just a Pima Indian, no money crops, no chance
And at home nobody cared what Ira had done and the when did the Indian's dance
Which brings me to the NSFW part of this diary. For some reason I was on a Youtube link fest and came upon a song sung by Patrick Sky I had never hears before called "Luang Prabang". It was off of an album called "Songs That Made America Famous". Turns out it was written by Dave Van Ronk. Luang Prabang is a province in Laos and one of the most heavily bombed areas on earth. You can Google it.
Lyrics
When I came back from Luang Prabang
I didn't have a thing where my balls used to hang,
But I got a wood medal and a fine harangue.
Now I'm a fucking hero.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
And now the boys all envy me:
I fought for Christian Democracy
With nothing but air where my balls used to be.
But now I'm a fucking hero
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
The one and twenty cannon thunder
Into the bloody wild blue yonder
For a patriotic ball-less wonder.
Now I'm a fucking hero.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
In Luang Prabang there is a spot
Where the corpses of your brothers rot,
And every corpse is a patriot,
And every corpse is a hero.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
Mourn your dead land of the free!
If you want to be a hero follow me.
BOHICA
Repentant ex member of Murder Inc.
Southeast Asia Division