Jon Stewart is beyond pleased at Herman Cain's latest gaffe on Libya, and Jason Jones elaborates that the Cain campaign now wants the media to talk about his sexual harassment charges.
But I'm sorry. I'm sure he was getting around to answering the question at hand.
HERMAN CAIN: I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason. (thinks) Um, nope. That's a different one.
(wild audience laughter)
(Jon whispers to Cain) I am falling in love with you.
"That's a different one"??? What reason... what is Cain going through in his mental Rolodex? "Uh, no... that's my policy regarding a woman named Lydia. All right, no, that's not it. This is... no, that's my position on the location of the labia. That's not it. Oh, that's the funny comedian from the movie Hey Lady."
Come on, Cain! You're forgetting the cardinal rule: if you study high, you have to be high when you take the test! Pull it together!
HERMAN CAIN: I gotta go back to see, uh................. got all this stuff twirling around in my head.
I feel for you. I got a lot of things twirling around in my head as well, it's difficult. But you know, being President's a real non-stop head-stuff twirl-fest, if I may quote Abraham Lincoln. Eventually, though, once the stuff stopped twirling, Herman Cain did come up with an answer.
HERMAN CAIN: I would have done a better job of determining who the opposition is. And I'm sure that our intelligence people had some of that information. Based upon who made up that opposition, OK, based upon who made up that opposition, might have caused me to make some different decisions about how we participated.
Nice, nice, I see. So you've narrowed it down to, you would have done the same thing... or something different.
....
JASON JONES: People can take a sexual creep in the White House, but nobody is going for that!
JON STEWART: I can't believe the campaign... what's the campaign going to do now?
JASON JONES: Well, they're going to rejigger their strategy. It's already starting with some new campaign slogans.
It's a good one.
They're also considering this.
Or Jon, maybe something a little more classic.
JON STEWART: None of those seem particularly helpful.
JASON JONES: Or, he could always go back to talking about Libya.
JON STEWART: All right, point taken.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Just 2 1/2 weeks ago, we found out that Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain had sexual harassment issues when the National Restaurant Association settled some lawsuits for him, setting off a media firestorm, which lasted until six days ago, when Republican presidential candidate Rick Perry fired the brain fart heard 'round the world. Also setting off a media firestorm.
But again, that was six days ago. And Daddy needs another hit of gaffe crack. Because once again, the race to determine the most qualified opponent to challenge the current leader of the free world in the November 2012 general election is boring me. Anyone?
WOLF BLITZER: Is this a Rick Perry "Oops" moment for Herman Cain?
Go on...............
ANDERSON COOPER: Herman Cain, caught on camera with an incredibly awkward and rambling explanation for his position on Libya.
JOE SCARBOROUGH: I call it his "dazed and confused" moment.
ED SCHULTZ: The Cain Train, I'll tell you what, it goes off the tracks.
MARTHA MACCALLUM: ... another very awkward moment ...
CNN: Final straw, maybe, for a sinking campaign?
MARTIN BASHIR: Serious brain freeze?
JOSH ROGIN: That whole tape was sort of like a car crash.
You're exaggerating. There's no way what I'm about to show people will live up in any way to the hyperbolic glee that we are all displaying. Roll the tape.
11/14/2011:
REPORTER: So you agree with President Obama on Libya or not?
HERMAN CAIN: OK. Libya. ...........................................
(Jon pounds desk and scratches head like a happy dog)
Wow! Wow! Holy shit! It's like he's trying to download the answer, but it's just that little ball is spinning. He's just buffering!
HERMAN CAIN: President Obama... supported the uprising. Correct? President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. I just want to make sure we're talking about the same thing before I say "Yes, I agree", or "No, I didn't agree."
I just want to say something here. This is not a spelling bee where you can just ask the moderator for the language of origin to buy yourself some time. "Uh, could you use that in a sentence? Like, most conservative Republicans feel Obama's handling of Libya was ______."
But I'm sorry. I'm sure he was getting around to answering the question at hand.
HERMAN CAIN: I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason. (thinks) Um, nope. That's a different one.
(wild audience laughter)
(Jon whispers to Cain) I am falling in love with you.
"That's a different one"??? What reason... what is Cain going through in his mental Rolodex? "Uh, no... that's my policy regarding a woman named Lydia. All right, no, that's not it. This is... no, that's my position on the location of the labia. That's not it. Oh, that's the funny comedian from the movie Hey Lady."
Come on, Cain! You're forgetting the cardinal rule: if you study high, you have to be high when you take the test! Pull it together!
HERMAN CAIN: I gotta go back to see, uh................. got all this stuff twirling around in my head.
I feel for you. I got a lot of things twirling around in my head as well, it's difficult. But you know, being President's a real non-stop head-stuff twirl-fest, if I may quote Abraham Lincoln. Eventually, though, once the stuff stopped twirling, Herman Cain did come up with an answer.
HERMAN CAIN: I would have done a better job of determining who the opposition is. And I'm sure that our intelligence people had some of that information. Based upon who made up that opposition, OK, based upon who made up that opposition, might have caused me to make some different decisions about how we participated.
Nice, nice, I see. So you've narrowed it down to, you would have done the same thing... or something different. Why didn't you just ignore the question, shake your head, and go "9-9-9?"
11/14/2011:
REPORTER: Mr. Cain, do you think the Libya comments reinforce the idea that you don't have a thorough understanding of foreign policy?
HERMAN CAIN: 9-9-9.
(shocked audience applause)
(Jon whispers to Cain) I love you!
JON STEWART: For more on the fallout from this latest campaign gaffe, we turn to Senior Political Correspondent Jason Jones, who's at Cain headquarters. Jason, as we heard in the question previously, does Herman Cain's answer on Libya really just continue to reinforce the idea he's not yet ready to compete on a policy level with some of the other GOP candidates?
JASON JONES: Jon, before we talk about Libya, Cain's advisers tonight are adamantly insisting that this sexual harassment scandal is not over, and that who knows how many more women could still be out there?
JON STEWART: Cain's advisers?
JASON JONES: That is correct. According to my sources here, the American people don't want to hear about some obscure war. They want to hear about the issues that matter. Like Herman Cain's possibly unstoppable urge to put his hand... or hands... or feet, up ladies' skirts.
JON STEWART: Herman Cain's advisers want to change the subject from Libya to Herman Cain's sexual harassment scandal.
JASON JONES: Yes. They feel that the longer the lamestream media focuses on foreign policy, or just policy in general, the more it hurts their guy.
JON STEWART: Right. But I'm not sure that charges of sexual harassment and confusion over his campaign's handling of it have been particularly helpful to Cain either.
JASON JONES: Right, right. But I want to show you something real quick.
HERMAN CAIN: Libya............................................................
People can take a sexual creep in the White House, but nobody is going for that!
JON STEWART: I can't believe the campaign... what's the campaign going to do now?
JASON JONES: Well, they're going to rejigger their strategy. It's already starting with some new campaign slogans.
It's a good one.
They're also considering this.
Or Jon, maybe something a little more classic.
JON STEWART: None of those seem particularly helpful.
JASON JONES: Or, he could always go back to talking about Libya.
JON STEWART: All right, point taken. Thank you very much, Jason. Jason Jones, everybody. We'll be right back.
Jon then covered Bob Costas's bizarre phone interview of Jerry Sandusky in the growing Penn State scandal.
And then Jon had a very touching interview with Gabrielle Giffords' husband
Mark Kelly.
Meanwhile, Stephen covered the
eviction of the Occupy Wall Street protesters at Zuccotti Park.
He then noted that Fox News favorite
Goldline is now under investigation, and its top executives may face jail time for fraud.
And
Lord of the Rings geeks will enjoy Stephen's interview with
Elijah Wood.