No, this is not the Onion. Newt has outdone even their mastery of satire, by going lower than anyone could possibly imagine.
Newt has a plan to save education. A "simple" plan, he calls it (and by "simple" he means "brilliant!") FIRE the janitors and have the poor kids, even the youngest kids, clean the school. Scrubbing toilets after use by their wealthier classmates will build character, and provide much-needed income!
Gingrich: Laws preventing child labor are 'truly stupid'
(CNN) - Newt Gingrich proposed a plan Friday that would allow poor children to clean their schools for money, saying such a setup would both allow students to earn income and endow them with a strong work ethic.
"It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid," Gingrich said. "Saying to people you shouldn't go to work before you're 14, 16. You're totally poor, you're in a school that's failing with a teacher that's failing."
...
"I tried for years to have a very simple model. These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work; they'd have cash; they'd have pride in the schools. They'd begin the process of rising."
"Go out and talk to people who are really successful in one generation," Gingrich said. "They all started their first job at 9 to 14 years of age. ... Remember all the stuff about not getting a hamburger-flipping job? Worst possible advice to give the poor children."
What with rampant bullying already taking place in schools, I can't imagine ANY downside to this plan! Hey poor kids! Go clean up my shit, while I'm at home playing xbox! Don't waste your valuable time trying to raise your station in life by studying or attending enrichment programs! There's vomit in that trash can that needs cleaning! I want to see it SHINE!
Child labor for pennies on the dollar compared to their adult janitor counterparts!
Young children working with dangerous, toxic cleaning chemicals! What could possibly go wrong?
I mean seriously, is he going to pay these kids on par with Chinese prison labor? Sounds like it. Remember it was Glenn Beck who SCREECHED that Andy Stern wanted to create a one-world-order where all workers in the world would have their standards reduced to the lowest common denominator. But clearly it is CONSERVATIVES who want exactly that.
Holy. shit.
I guess everyone can't sell out their public service and parlay it into a smarmy multi-million dollar lobbying contract, now can they Newt!
"ARE THERE NO PRISONS! ARE THERE NO WORKHOUSES!"
This falls right in line with Maine's GOP Governor, who sought to repeal child labor laws and allow young teens to work in hotels - making them prime targets for sex abuse, and serving to obfuscate sex trafficking.
Party of life!