Hey, America.
Those of us living in the largest part of the continent, while finding endless amusement in what you quaintly call a democratic process to decide who your new leaders will be, do realize that at some point there will be a vote and about a quarter of eligible voters or less will decide what assho well meaning and inspiring politician will become president of the United States. Or at least the blue states. Possibly the red states. Maybe the coast versus heartland? Whatever. Anyhoo, we see the strain this decision is causing given the quality of the current competition and, like the good neighbours we are, have come up with a solution.
How admittedly this is a somewhat radical solution, but I think you'll agree it has a lot going for it, so take a moment to consider.
Trust us, we know what we're doing.