The State where I live is in the process of introducing gay marriage. Our governor says that the majority of people now support it. I am one of that majority, I have been for along time.
Below the fold you can read about the people that taught me a thing or two about what love and commitment meant and why it is important that we fix it so same sex couples can finally have same rights as the rest of us in this country.
Many years ago I delivered mail in a very rural area of the Olympic Peninsula of Washington State. The Olympic Peninsula is a world onto itself isolated from the rest of the country it has always existed on its own terms and by its own rules regardless of what the other Washington or anyone else had to say.
One of the biggest unspoken rules among the lifers here is you don't stick your nose into anyone elses business, to each their own, live and let live. We take this very seriously. Because of this quirk of our society we have always had our share of people who have found their way to our small town doorsteps because they were hounded out of the rest of the country for some reason usually because in some way they were different. If they were good folks who could be counted on to contribute good things to our society, no one batted an eye at what ever difference caused them to flee to the great outside. They were welcomed.
So it was when a local bit of color a crusty old hermit who had somewhere around a half a million dollars under the floorboards of his bedroom finally died at an age everybody figured had to be at least a 100 his rather run down farm was sold. Soon contracts to repair this and fix that were popping up with local contractors as the down on its luck old place came back to life. They even saved the old barn an amazing building built in the Danish way by bending huge two foot thick beams to meet against a giant main beam that could not be recreated these days because the trees that size no longer exist and no one would know how to build them if they did.
The town was a buzz at who had bought the old place wild rumors flew each more creative than the last. Finally the day arrived when someone passed a moving van rolling down the highway. It must have been rather annoying to show up only to find there is a traffic jam in front of your house the whole town there to check you out. That is life in the fish bowl that is the Peninsula. Secrets just don't happen.
Our new neighbors were John and Mark a gay couple who had been together for around 25 years. They had bought the farm so Mark could raise and train horses. He had worked with them all of his life in the horse racing industry now it was his turn to put what he had learned to use for himself. His partner John was a heavy equipment operator.
It was not long before they belonged, a large brushfire was out of control and was looking like it was going to take out some houses. John, unasked, showed up with a bulldozer in tow and proceeded to save the day dozing a fire break across an impossibly steep hillside. Character is everything around here, stepping up and helping a neighbor in trouble is as good as it gets.
They lived in our town for 10 years, Mark was a well known character, popular for his sliding scale riding lessons and contributions to the local spaghetti feeds, he made very excellent bread. I would know I was his mail carrier and I got frequent loaves in the mail box. Mark was a well read man our conversations at the mail box were always interesting where he often waited for me to ask advice about his vegetable garden. He had deduced from my town nickname "Organica" and all that produce he saw heading down river road from my farm that I might be able to help him out.
Then one day he stopped coming, I didn't think much about it at first. Then there were three days when no one picked up the mail. I took it to the house to check. John came to the door pale and looking like he hadn't slept in awhile. I asked if everything was okay he started crying. Mark had cancer, he was in the hospital. Marks elderly parents who had never accepted Marks choices were refusing to let John visit even though Mark was asking for him and had actually signed a paper giving John medical power of Attorney. The Doctors refused to tell him anything, the nurses refused to put his calls through. The only way he knew anything was that Marks sister who lived in the east had called him. She was on her way and hoped to make it possible for John to be with Mark. Mark rallied, after a huge battle with his parents he returned home but soon became bedridden. The hospital stays with the ensuing fights, and banishments became frequent. Often as I delivered mail I would see John sitting on a rock down the road from the house. When Marks parents were visiting he would leave the house so they would not be uncomfortable. I thought him a much better person than I ever thought about being. I wouldn't have even let them in.
For last months John cared for Mark on his own with some help from various neighbor ladies all who had cared for loved ones in final illnesses and knew the need for the caregiver to take breaks. Then came a turning point, Mark became worse, his doctor ordered him back to the hospital, Mark refused to go. He had lived life on his terms and he would die the same way with John by his side, since his parents with the help of the hospital would not honor his wishes he wouldn't budge. His parents tried to have him declared incompetent and force him into the hospital but he didn't live long enough for a judge to decide.
He was buried in the local cemetery under a double headstone, you know the kind, those made for long married couples often with both names carved, one without a death date because they are still waiting to join their loved one. Each time I visited the cemetery over the years there was almost always fresh flowers on Marks grave. In the years that have passed John has continued to live on the farm, he has never found a new partner but has instead thrown his time into the volunteer fire department. They have a jaws of life and two defibrillators purchased by Marks memorial fund that have saved many lives. John is a constant force behind fundraising efforts to improve training and equipment. He also keeps the old 1919 LeFrance fire engine chugging for parades and festivals where it is usually the star.
Marks parents refused to come to the funeral and in fact fought John over the body which they wanted returned to their home town in the mid west. A judge in Seattle thankfully did the right thing and allowed for Marks written wish to be buried in his adopted town. They filed suit to have Marks will leaving his half of the farm to John overturned, this also was found in Johns favor. Through it all John was very understanding and forgiving of them, he told one of my cousins he understood that under it all they really loved Mark and that much he could relate to.
To my little backward rural Olympic Peninsula way thinking if two people ever deserved the legal protections offered by marriage it was John and Mark yet when the chips were down our society and our government failed them allowing others to dictate and damage their last remaining time and memories together. This is still the United States of America where we should be free to be who we are and to love who we want to love. It really is no ones business.
Governor Gregiore, you go girl you can count on this old country chick to have your back on this one.