My older daughter is an incredible advocate for the oppressed. She went to Israel and Palestine and wrote blogs about the terrible things happening to Palestinians. She gets passionate to the point of tears when she talks about the effect of racism on minorities and can tell you details about the civil rights movement and how the current state of affairs still allows oppression and promotes white privilege.
But this morning, she knew nothing about about the threat to women's health posed by the attacks on Planned Parenthood; nothing about the increasing restrictions on women's access to reproductive health care; nothing about how the right wing is getting more and more successful in gaining control over women's bodies.
My poor 23-year-old arrives in the dining room with her friend while I'm drinking coffee and watching the podcast of Rachel Maddow talking to a Congresswoman about the war on women. Her timing in showing up within my sight couldn't have been worse -- I'm upset, I have two 20-something women as a captive audience and I go off on a rant.
Where are the young women -- do you even know what's happening?
(No, though her friend has vaguely heard something about it).
Do you expect the old feminists like me to fight this battle alone?
(she smiles uncomfortably)
It's not funny, this is not a joke.
(Mom, I'm sorry -- I know it's serious).
I tell her about the Susan G. Komen foundation cutting funding to Planned Parenthood. I tell her about the stupid "investigation" of Planned Parenthood by the anti-abortion Republican Congressman. I tell her that women's health, poor women's health, is at risk; that Planned Parenthood is the organization that locates its clinics in the areas of the most need, that closures of Planned Parenthood clinics in rural areas mean many women won't be able to get breast exams, pap smears, pelvic exams; that the loss of these clinics means that poor and rural women's very lives are in danger. I point out to her that this fits into her concern about oppression and racism -- that women like her, like me, like her friend (who is a woman of color but with advanced degrees and a good job) will be able to get the preventive care we need, but poor women will be out of luck.
I tell her it's not just Planned Parenthood -- it's been an ongoing battle against women for years now, and this attack is just the latest version. I say "when I was young women, this is what we fought for, and now we're losing it."
And then I look at the faces of these two young women and realize I've been yelling at them for 10 solid minutes and not let them get a word in edgewise.
I apologize for yelling. Apologize again, and grumpily return to my coffee and my Maddow podcast.
They're happy to slide out the front door and run for the car, to get away from the crazed old broad.
When my daughter comes back, I apologize again. I realize that I've been mad for a while, that I don't understand why young women don't realize that their rights, their health and their lives are being sucked away by right wing ideologues and self-promoting demagogues. I don't understand why they don't see that the things they take for granted today -- easy access to contraception, abortion when needed, protection from sexual harassment, education and career paths of their choosing, are there for them only because my generation fought like crazy, divorced recalcitrant husbands, stood up to men in power, weathered being called strident, unfeminine, ball-breakers, cock-teasers, man-haters, in order to make these rights and avenues available to ourselves and our daughters.
So I try to be a bit gentler. She tells me that probably one reason she hasn't been paying as much attention is that she's gay. Yes, she knows that all this affects gay women also, but still, it's more distant.
I tell her that lesbians need preventive health care too -- pap smears, pelvics and breast exams
(yes Mom, of course)
that lesbians can get raped and then be denied the morning after pill.
(I know, I know).
(So, Mom -- what should we do about this?)
I'm stymied. I hadn't thought that far ahead. And anyway, she's the out-there activist, organizing her friends and acquaintances and strangers who happen to walk by for all sorts of terrific purposes.
We fought in our way 30 years ago, she and her friends need to figure out their own methods. It's their battle now.
Well that's what I say. because it's true and because I don't have an answer.
(p.s., if you want to see my daughter's blogs from Palestine & Israel, click on my name -- I republished them here).