Well, look who's already begging for a job should a MENSA member win in November {insert shudder here}! I guess he's looking for further union - busting windfalls. What an incredible $hit...
It's time for "this day in history." On this date in 1840, Britain's Queen Victoria married Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg - Gotha. So, is this when he escaped the can or ran into the can?! {insert rim shot here} On this date in 1992, Mike Tyson was convicted in my fair city of raping a Miss Black America contestant. The prosecuting attorney now has a rather lucrative career in bat$hit radio. Finally, wish a happy 82nd birthday to Robert Wagner! It's too bad he's gone from being hilarious in the Austin Powers movies to shilling for reverse mortgages.
Let's Countdown!
Sam Seder's with us again tonight; thanks for pinch - hitting for Keith! :)
#5 "More Conservative Than You Are" AKA "CPACking Them In" - 3 of the 4 MENSA members added to the already - horrid noise & sight pollution going on at CPAC. If I was Barney the Dinosaur, I'd be going after Man on Dog for copyright infringement! "I know you; you know me" is awfully damn similar to "I love you; you love me"! LAWSUIT! ;D Man on Dog got some Mittens digs in, too. Mittens was a "severely conservative Republican Governor"? Huh...his definition of conservative must be totally different from mine. Mittens got some veiled digs in at other MENSA members, too. Newt took to the stage, too, AND, if I remember reading correctly, his billionaire Lost Wages campaign bank roller has bailed! President Obama's going to wage war on the Catholic church the day after his re - election? OK! GOBP STILL want GWB's baby brother to run - even though he'd lose to President Obama BADLY. Poor Ryan Lizza got to spend the day at CPAC; I hope he's had a chance to delouse. The CPAC straw poll is tomorrow. Man on Dog said women couldn't be in combat roles because of their "emotions." Wow, he is such an absolute $hit! CPAC hearts (if they exist) are with Man on Dog & Newt but think they'll probably implode. Mittens was the last great conservative hope in 2008? Huh, I don't remember that, but I was paying more attention to the Dem side of the coin. Craig Crawford was there, too, and gets to talk Jeb Bush. The GOBP apparently wants a brokered convention in which Jebbie sweeps in to save the day. Mr. Craig really doesn't think ANY MENSA member will have a majority of delegates by the time their love fest rolls around this summer. Wouldn't that be a hoot?!
#4 "Contraception Compromise" AKA "Playing Politics" - Well, I gotta admit that when I heard the "compromise" word buzzing around this morning, I thought, "Oh $hit, here we go again." HOWEVER, I gotta say the solution ain't too bad, but I'm not sure I trust health insurance companies to do THEIR job. Catholic bishops are still pi$$ed; they can pi$$ off. With the uptick in the economy, the GOBP decided to resurrect the culture war. And, since they will continue to be anti - Obama no matter what he says, the GOBP will drift even further away from the general public on attitudes concerning women's health issues. Our Great Orange Satanic Leader gets "birds & bees" duty! :D Markos expected a cave - in, too. ;) However, he called what happened today "a home run." 65% of respondents TO A FAUX NEWS POLL are in favor of the contraception coverage?! Y'all have got to be $HITTING me! I wonder if the typical FAUX News viewer know what "contraception" means? Markos also suggested some other possible areas of agreement between the GOBP & the Catholic Church - like opposing the death penalty (is Governor Secession listening?!), opposing needless wars, etc. The GOBP is all about "freedom" but don't want women to be free to make their own choices about their own health - kind of like that "small government" memo that Rachel's come up with.
"Time Marches On!" - Today is Lonesome Rhodes' birthday????!!!! Oh, Keith missed Lonesome Rhodes' birthday; that SUCKS!!! A little guy just keeps saying no but will take a million dollars. :) Governor Take a State Helicopter to His Kid's Game lost his backdrop to a speech; I said it blew over because of all the hot air coming from the Governator's pie hole.
#3 "Badger Bait & Switch" - And, here's our 2nd absolute $hit of the night. Governor Scotty's decided to take mortgage settlement coin to make up for a budget shortfall HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR! So, all you Cheese Heads who got taken to the cleaners by illegal mortgage practices are SOL & JWF. Wisconsin will get around $140 million in the settlement. $60 million will go to loan modifications, $17.2 million will be used for payments for homes lost through servicing abuses, $31.3 million will go for refinancing for homeowners under water, and $31.6 million will be used at the state's discretion. Ah hell, why would anyone give a boil on the butt of humanity Governator the chance at discretionary money?! *&^%$#@! All this $hit is merely projection at this point, and some Dem politicos, I'm sure, will do their darn best to make sure the hopefully - soon - to - be - recalled Governor doesn't use any of that settlement money for that purpose. Judd Legum gets boil on the butt of humanity Governor duty. Governor Scotty perhaps may have jumped the gun a bit on a settlement that's not even official yet, but he's dyin' to avoid some very difficult choices in the continuing short fall. No one's talking Governor Scotty at CPAC?! Golly! :) This settlement issue could end up playing a big role in the recall election.
#2 "Equality for All" - Yea, I mentioned this story in SPARK recently, but it is SO WORTH hearing about it again! :D Not a single GOBPer on the Senate Judiciary Committee voted to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act?! Wow... A GOBPer in OK wants a fertilized egg recognized as a person. State Senator Constance Johnson had a hell of a response! You gentlemen cannot deposit your sperm into "any other vessel" other than a lady's Mommy parts! SO, no more choking your chicken, beating the bishop, pulling your pud, jerking it, having sex with someone you love, etc.!!!!!! :D :D
#1 "Barack and Roll" AKA "oPod" - President Obama released his official campaign music list today, and, yes, Al Green's "Let's Stay Together" made the cut. :) Hell, if President Obama sings it, it is GAME OVER as far as his re - election! We've got some "Boss" on the list as well as Aretha Franklin, U2, Ricky Martin, and Sugarland (the band that was schedule to play at the IN State Fair the night of that horrible stage collapse). The President's staff picked most of the songs except for...well...you know. :) Tim Dickinson gets music duty - entirely appropriate since he works for Rolling Stone! There are no hip - hop songs on the list - GOOD. I am a bit oogied by all the country crap, too! And, I don't even want to THINK ABOUT the musical tastes of these MENSA members!!