So, when do you decide that the evidence has piled up high enough that a goal you have is just going to be unattainable or cost so much that it can never return the value of your investment?
This is the question I find myself asking these days about my quest to be a paid blogger. I dabbled, kind of learning the craft for three years and then for the last three years I’ve been aggressively pursuing that elusive goal.
In that times I’ve had some success (at the cost of working for someone who is truly nuts and impossible to work for or with) but mostly I’ve been on, what I considered, to be the edge of breaking through.
It is not like my work is not read, I know it is and not just by my friends and family. It is just that there seems to be no road forward. Which is a real drag, since I love doing this kind of work and feel like I am moderately good at it.
That said, it is hard to keep that view when empirical evidence keeps piling up. Applying for everything that is even vaguely in the nature of political blogging and being told thanks but no thanks (after varying levels of interviews and writing samples), anyone with a grasp on reality has to start looking at that feeling that they are skilled at analysis and political thought as maybe over inflated.
It is not like I don’t have a goal that probably tens of thousands of others share, so there is every chance that I am not part of the elite that can actually make some kind of living at blogging. It is really hard to tell from the inside, you know?
One has to have self-confidence, but as the tragically exploited horrible singers in the American Idol audition shows highlight, just thinking you have skill and talent enough to do something is not at all the same as actually having it.
It seems that I am at a cross roads. I have to decide if I can hang on with the wage slave job I have (which really doesn’t cover my expenses, but is a hell of a lot better than nothing) or go back to something that will provide a good living but preclude spending the time and effort it takes to be proficient at blogging.
I know, why burden the community here about this? Well, I’d like some input and this community has been the place to see 80% of all my work, from the fumbling attempts to the posts that I am truly proud of.
So, I need some feed back Kossacks; is it time to hang up my spurs, recognize that I might (at best) be a semi-talented amateur who is never going to have the chops to make the jump to paid blogger for someone who is not bat-shit insane or is this just one of those crisis of confidence that everyone has to face down if they want to work in a competitive field?
Let me know what you think.
The floor is yours.
6:36 AM PT: I want to be sure to thank everyone for the advice, even though there are contradictory opinions here. It mirrors my thinking on this, but having the outside input is already helping me think more clearly about it.
In case no one has told all ya'll lately, you people rock!