URP Decisions, decisions, decisions. What’s a guy gotta do around here to get good service?
That question has been keeping Mitt Romney up at night lately as he ponders his choice of a vice presidential pick for the upcoming election battle with President Obama. His choices range from a quiet, competent professional who can get the job done to an inspiring, charismatic charmer who can rally the troops. Finally, though, there is an option for Romney who fulfills the full spectrum of needs for the presumptive Republican nominee this Fall.
U.S. Senator Marco Rubio of Florida. Young, dynamic, and vibrant, Rubio walked away with the CPAC vice presidential straw poll last month, shaming other VP wannabes. Anyone Romney may select as a running mate will undergo extraordinary scrutiny in the general election and Rubio is no exception. However, there is one in-born advantage Rubio has that may temper Democratic smear attempts: the man is Latino.
Democrats will need to walk a fine line between trashing the man and alienating a crucial voting bloc. For Romney, however, it’s a slam dunk. “I think picking Rubio as the running mate is brilliant,” says a top Romney insider. “Imagine the connections the guy has in the Latino community. The White House lawn will look better than ever!”
Indeed, at the top of Romney’s needs is good service and no demographic does a better job at landscaping than the Latino community. “They are everywhere,” says Romney. “You know, I own several expensive properties throughout the country and when there’s landscaping to be done, no one does it better than Latinos - and you know I like good service. They’re always grateful for the work and with Rubio heading the effort, they'll be happy to help. Hey, maybe I can even save a few bucks!”
Romney aides are hard at work coordinating the landscaping needs of Romney’s various homes with Rubio’s staff. “There is a lot to think about,” says Romney’s campaign manager Beth Myers. “Each home has a different look and is located in different agricultural zones, requiring careful attention to custom care needs. Then, of course, there is the White House lawn. Nothing says “President” more than that lawn. That’s where Rubio’s main focus will have to be. We even have a special cap for him to wear. He’ll do an incredible job. It's gonna be gorgeous!”