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Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the doodle...
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Yes, I know. I promised you food. I am reneging yet again. I hope you'll forgive me.
I do have a good reason - beyond the friggin' rats, which appear to be gone. (Our neighbor was having the exact same problem and found where they were getting into the house.) We did some sleuthing, and lo and behold - our builders cheaped out, didn't put a screen on one of the roof vents, and voila! It's like hanging a "ALL RODENTS WELCOME HERE!!!!!" sign. Remove the vent cover, and it's a straight drop down to the attic. We've set some traps and hooo boy, have they borne rodent corpses.
But no - it's not the rats. For a long, long time, I've been dealing with issues with depression and anxiety. (I know I'm not alone here, in this economy and political atmosphere.) These issues have recently been exacerbated by some new practices at my workplace. I was hired for what I thought was a customer support job. It's so NOT a customer support job. We're allowed about an hour a day to provide support for our customers, the other seven hours, we are to be on the phone prospecting. Sounds like a sales job, doesn't it? Only they can't call it that, because see, I work for a for-profit university. Think University of Phoenix or Kaplan or ITT. I make between 200 and 500 calls a day to people who have knowingly or unknowingly requested information about getting a college degree.
I am regularly asked by management to engage in unethical behavior. I am also regularly pressured to work through breaks, to take short lunches, to work overtime during the week and half days on Saturdays, (and when I don't, even though they can't force me to do these things, I am dinged on my performance reviews). I have been told, when requesting that I be allowed to leave on time on a certain day to be able to watch my daughter in her first ever HS football cheer leading experience, that "You really need to get your priorities straight - work requires sacrifice sometimes." Those who refuse to do the aforementioned eventually get fired because they're not "committed to the mission" - read "not enrolling students".
In addition to the just crappy job situation, we get to undergo monthly evaluations where we're told how much we suck because we're not bringing in X number of students a week, and given 3 - 4 weeks to fix it "or other measures may be taken". And every week or so, someone gets the ax. I keep waiting for it to be me. It's stressful to say the least.
I've mentioned here before that I've had some physical issues related to work. Most frequently, vomiting daily before I went in and daily wicked tension headaches. If my family didn't love me so much, I think they'd have found an ice floe to set me loose on, I've been such a delight to live with.
My biggest frustration has been dealing with people who have never had major depression. I get so much "Nike talk" from these people it drives me batty. You know the types - they're well meaning, and they do care, but they just don't get it. Yes, I know that exercise is a great way to beat depression, and that I should "Just Do It". My problem is knowing what I should do and getting to the point of doing it is seriously like climbing Mt. Everest. I do take medication, but it's a hit or miss thing. So far, the medication the dart landed on hasn't been working. Since November, I've worked up to the highest dosage, and feel no change. So it's either wean me off of it and onto something else or add a booster or whatever my psychiatrist decides. It's very frustrating, because getting the meds right along with talk therapy are what will determine the date I return to work (my dr. pulled me out of work b/c of the daily puking/tension headache thing, along with high blood pressure - all of which have gone since I've not gone into work).
There is ONE thing that works for me bar none, though - hiking. And again - just because I know it works doesn't mean I'm out there every day. To date, the only reason I've been hiking consistently is because I make a date to meet my sister, who will kick my ass if I stand her up. Yesterday, in fact, I went out with my sister and as soon as I got out of the car and felt the 45 degree windy-as-all-expletive weather, I nearly turned around and went home. Instead, kriser convinced me to just go for half an hour. I agreed with very bad grace. Of course we ended up doing our whole hike.
Some highlights:
* We finished it 5 minutes faster than last week
* We stopped fewer times (HUGE for me!!)
* I had a fall-free hike - something my still-healing knees really appreciated.
* We were the ONLY people on the trail
* We got hailed on four times in two hours.
* My rain jacket actually had a crust of ice when I got back to the car
Man, I felt GREAT when we were done! I regret that there are no pictures - I really do. Because after a couple of those hail storms, it actually looked like it had snowed! But our hands were so cold (and sore from being pelted with little frozen water bullets) that operating a camera probably wouldn't have worked all that well.
I am now in a temporary situation that has me spending weekdays only 8 miles away from our favorite hiking spot. My time commitment ends at 2:30. So I'm planning on taking the next big step - doing the hike on my own. It's only 3 miles (heh. with significant climbing involved, thanks) and I have both pepper spray and a stun gun. My goal right now is to go on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'd REALLY like to go Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Frankly, I'll be VERY proud of myself if I make it one of these days. But here's the thing I've found. I remember the endorphin rush after a good hike. For days. And it's been so long since anything felt that good, that this, alone, is a good enough reason to go.
And hopefully I'll be going enough to start feeling like cooking up a storm again.
Thanks for being here for me, and for hopefully understanding. I do constantly look for things to bring to my foodie fans. I just haven't been moved this past week to create. I am looking forward to that changing.
Now, enough downers! Here's brillig with tonight's Tops of all varieties! Thanks, brillig!
brillig gathers asimbagirl into a big giant gentle hug while smiling sacharine sweet at Evil Employer. Those who've seen a brillig know that smiling sweetly is NOT a Good Thing if you're on the receiving end.
We gots Top Comments:
Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.
From commonmass:
This comment from Kossack koosah in this morning's Cheers and Jeers is not to be missed. In a thread about Bill's cat, Fantome, Koosah spills the catnip on her own cat's "girth" and manages to get the words "Rush Limbaugh", "ice cream truck" and "viagra" all into the same sentence. It's a must see.
From brillig:
So Republican likely primary voters in Illinois think President Obama is a secret Muslim and might not be American. Remediator has two thoughts on why.
Why does pink slime even exist? maxzj05 explains.
We also gots Top Mojo for yesterday March 18th, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you
mik for the mojo magic!
1) A very courageous diary. by One Pissed Off Liberal — 228
2) They just don't trust us by BoiseBlue — 162
3) Also, there is nothing wrong with me. by BoiseBlue — 154
4) Flat tax idiot by kestrel9000 — 120
5) wow, what's wrong with these people? by citisven — 119
6) Margaret Atwood, indeed. by KelleyRN2 — 113
7) Firstborn turned out pretty well, too. by rb137 — 113
8) No beatings, no pepper spray, no tasers? by xxdr zombiexx — 101
9) Former active Catholic-quit last Oct. Opus Dei one by peptabysmal — 97
10) i know it was not easy for you to post this diary by Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse — 97
11) Hello, OPOL! by rb137 — 92
12) The emotional manipulation was unbelievable. by rb137 — 91
13) Thank you so much. by blue jersey mom — 90
14) +4 by jlms qkw — 83
15) Morans vote to raise their taxes; cut Romney's by Dirk McQuigley — 83
16) That's something that's always bothered me by BoiseBlue — 80
17) Reagan proved that all you needed was an actor by SallyCat — 79
18) To Sara by BeninSC — 79
19) You're right. by rb137 — 77
20) As long as high co-pays and deductibles are there by slinkerwink — 77
21) I don't think it's selfish by Tara the Antisocial Social Worker — 76
22) You forgot something in their list of by blueoregon — 75
23) Yes! I NEVER wanted children by rockrgirl8 — 74
24) That book scared the shit out of me by Reetz — 74
25) A Week With Lakota: Two-Part Documentary by JekyllnHyde — 72
26) I'm as well as can be. by One Pissed Off Liberal — 72
27) What OPOL said by a gilas girl — 71
28) The ties to women as chattel are there. by rb137 — 71
29) As wonderful as Margaret Attwood is by Donkey Hotey — 70
30) there is a strong by KibbutzAmiad — 69
Lastly, we gots Top Pictures for yesterday March 18th. Click any image to be taken to the full comment. Thank you
jotter for the image magic!