Given that I am the leading Bigfoot expert in Kossack land (self-appointed, of course) it is my duty to inform you of the latest news involving that fabled hairy creature of the forest. Actually, the news is about some of the people who were in pursuit of the hairy creature.
It seems that a group called The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization led an expedition to the Buffalo National River last month. That by itself is not really news, considering that Bigfoot hunts have become a staple of cable TV programming. It turns out that the team leader was cited for failure to secure a permit from the National Park Service before commencing the hunt.
Does the National Park Service actually sell Mythical Humanoid Search Permits? Not quite. The 31 would-be Bigfoot hunters had paid between $300 and $500 each for the privilege of not seeing Sasquatch. That made The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization a “concessionaire” in Park Service terms. Park Service rangers discovered the group at a campground, and issued a citation to the leader, who paid a fine of $525.
The rangers were actually rather nice about the whole affair. After learning that many of the paying customers had traveled a long way to get to the Buffalo River, they decided against forcing them to leave.
This incident allowed a glimpse into the world of Bigfoot hunting that otherwise might have remained unknown. The Arkansas trip was one of 25 expeditions planned for this year by The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization. If each trip draws an average of 30 paying participants, that’s a pretty good cottage industry. I’m beginning to believe that I’m on the wrong side of this debate.
Instead of being an unpaid skeptic, I’m thinking about leading expeditions to some of the far-flung places I’ve been. Timber company land with locked gates? No problem, I’ve got keys and bolt cutters. Private property? I know all the back roads. Government land? We can elude those rangers. While our more sedentary friends are hanging out at Netroots Nation 12, the rest of us can be on Sasquatch Search 1. Come join the fun! Bring money!
I’ve left you in suspense about whether Bigfoot was apprehended, either by the park rangers or by the expedition. According to their leader,
There were certainly things that happened that convinced me that there are Sasquatches in the Buffalo River area. We definitely heard sounds that were indicative of Sasquatch. Characteristic vocalizations. Very compelling observations.
Having canoed most of the length of the Buffalo River myself, I can attest that the biggest source of eerie vocalizations is cattle, followed closely by partying college students from the University of Arkansas.
Okay, I've had my say. It's your turn to pile on!
Link to story
My first Bigfoot diary