Mitt Romney has never even been president, but he's already managed to save the domestic auto industry, and keep the country safe since 9/11¹.
With that in mind, it's easy to imagine that if he actually were president, he'd be creating more than 500,000 jobs per month.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking: "Heck, even Jimmy Carter did that—twice²!"
While that's true, it's also true that Jimmy Carter never got the unemployment rate below 4.0 percent³, as Romney has promised to do.
"And just how's he gonna do that?," you ask.
However the Christianists tell him to.
Severely.
Notes:
1. Mitt couldn't have accomplished this had his sons not been willing to take a risk.
2. It's only happened five times since the end of the Eisenhower administration: Twice under Carter, once under Reagan, once under Clinton, and once under Obama.
3. The unemployment rate averaged 4.0 percent in 2000. The last time it averaged below 4.0 percent was in 1969.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Vice President Joe Biden; Roundtable: Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH), Economist Diane Swonk and Chuck Todd (NBC News) and Tom Brokaw (NBC News).
Face the Nation: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN); Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY); Former DNC Chair/Vermont Gov. Howard Dean; Former National Security Adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski; Roundtable: Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal), Michael Gerson (Washington Post), David Corn (Mother Jones) and John Dickerson (CBS News).
This Week: White House Senior Adviser David Axelrod; Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Former Obama Economic Adviser Austan Goolsbee, Romney Campaign Adviser Bay Buchanan, Radio/TV Host Tavis Smiley and Greta Van Susteren (Fox News).
Fox News Sunday: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL); Roundtable: Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard), A.B. Stoddard (The Hll), Sociopath Liz Cheney and Juan Williams (Fox News).
State of the Union: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); Former Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland (D); Former Rep. Tom Davis (R-VA); Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA); Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); Major Garrett (National Journal); Former CBO Director Douglas Holtz-Eakin; Former CBO Director Alice Rivlin; Reliable Sources: Author Jonah Goldberg; Dana Milbank (Washington Post); Chrystia Freeland (Reuters); University of Maryland Journalism Professor Mark Feldstein; Fred Francis (Formerly of CBS News); Columbia University Journalism Professor Emily Bell.
The Chris Matthews Show: Dan Rather (HDNet); Katty Kay (BBC); Joe Klein (TIME); Kelly O'Donnell (NBC News).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Martin Wolf (Financial Times); Rana Foroohar (TIME); Former Bain Capital Managing Director Ed Conard; Author Robert Caro.
Up with Chris Hayes: New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman; Deputy Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau Raj Date; Catherine Rampell (New York Times); Alexis Goldstein (Occupy the SEC); James Fallows (The Atlantic); David Frum (Newsweek/Daily Beast);
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: interviews with two pilots who risked their wings to become military whistleblowers and speak out about the F-22 Raptor (preview); a report on young journalists who risked their lives to expose corruption in a rural Kentucky county (preview); and, an interview with Michael Phelps about his prepartions for the London Olympics (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Jon Stewart reminded Republicans what it looks like when the "War on Terror" is politicized.
The Daily Show
Monday: Admiral General Aladeen of Wadiya (aka Sacha Baron Cohen)
Tuesday: US Ambassador to NATO Ivo Daalder
Wednesday: Dean of Westminster Abbey John C. Hall
Thursday: Author Robert Caro
And Stephen Colbert offered his own color commentary on President Obama's alleged "spiking of the ball."
The Colbert Report
Monday: TV Host Andy Cohen
Tuesday: Author Michelle Alexander
Wednesday: Anna Wintour (Vogue)
Thursday: Physician Dr. Francis Collins
Elsewhere...
Mitt Romney won't necessarily be meeting with British Prime Minister David Cameron when he attends the opening ceremony of the London Olympics this summer. And with
good reason.
Referring to Cameron's highly flattering toast to Obama during a banquet given in the prime minister's honour when he visited Washington in March, a senior aide said: "You don't take sides in an election year". [...]
Doubts about a possible Downing Street meeting appear to stem in part from surprise and dismay felt in the Romney camp about what it saw as Cameron's obsequious behaviour at the banquet on 14 March.
Cameron's performance smacked of a "lack of experience" and was seen as "not very skilful", the aide said.
Romney advisers responsible for European policy were said to have been so alarmed that their initial reaction was to complain Cameron had "infringed" the special relationship between the US and Britain.
"It's curious. What Cameron did is ironic, seeing that a few days later Obama said he was neutral on the Falklands. Cameron was taken for a ride by Obama," the aide said.
Meanwhile...
"Joe the Plumber" is hoping that President Obama can find some time in his busy schedule to finish their conversation.
Dear Mister President:
I stopped by your house the other day because I wanted to talk with you about what's happened since we last met. [...]
Mister President, I think it’s time you and I continued our conversation.
I tried early and late, but you weren't home and I couldn’t find anyone to take a message. Perhaps you had a good score at the golf course today? Any luck getting more campaign donations? I'm sure that's taking up a lot of your energy.
And, in other news...
Ted Nugent lost his shit when a reporter for CBS suggested that he's not a "moderate."
Ted Nugent WENT OFF on a male CBS news reporter during a sit-down interview this week ... claiming he's a "damned nice guy" ... and to prove it, he offered oral sex.
It all went down during a sit-down interview with Jeff Glor ... when Glor suggested he was not a moderate.
Nugent exploded, "I'm an extremely loving and passionate man, and people who investigate me honestly, without the baggage of political correctness, ascertain the conclusion that I'm a damned nice guy ... and if you can find a screening process more powerful than that, I'll suck your dick."
Nugent then turned to Glor's female producer and said, "Or I'll fuck you, how's that sound?"
Frankie says relax.
- Trix