Now we know the terrible, horrible truth! Michelle Bachmann is a secret Swiss terrorist out to destroy the very fabric of American life and culture.
How can we trust such a person? Such a person who holds such nefarious ties? The cheese, watch, and bank lobbyists have had their Manchurian Candidate this ENTIRE time! I demand to see her birth certificate. I demand to see her VISA, I demand to check her Cheese drawer. There better be some goshdarn American cheese in that drawer! I want evidence! I bet she drives a Volkswagon!
To think: we might've had a secret neutral, bank-friendly socialist spy in the White House!