Today's diary comes to you from your intrepid diarist's iPad hurtling through time and space on a drive from Texas to North Carolina along Interstate 10. No, I'm not the one driving, no worries. That task is the province of Mr. Carolina. When control freaks travel together, it's best that each of them stick to their core competencies. His is driving. Mine is... Well who knows.
In the immortal words of road trip afficionado Elwood Blues in The Blues Brothers:
"We got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... And we're wearing sunglasses."
In our case, we started with a full tank of gas projected to propel us some 418 miles in our recently acquired hybrid vehicle. No cigarettes, but we do have a thermos of coffee. And yeah, it's dark. Unrelentingly dark, no sign of dawn so far after nearly two hours on the road. In lieu of sunglasses, I'm wearing my "no-line" bifocals, my middle age badge of honor for those times when my arm is just too short to hold the printed page at a suitable distance.
We left the Houston area at 3:40 a.m. As always, the night before a trip is characterized by "fliegs-unruhe", the restless energy that wakes on up at 1:50 a.m. with a sense that that's all the sleep we're gonna get.
Follow along below the tropical depression for more...
Weather is always on our minds. Having made this trip quite a few times before, we know that rainfall along the Gulf Coast can really mess with your travel plans. We were stuck once in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana during a downpour of epic proportions, traffic progressing about a mile in nearly an hour. At times like that, traveling with a control freak can become a pretty trying experience.
So I keep tabs on the weather with all my little links on the iPad. I have iMapweather apps activated, and our navigation system provides alerts of severe weather along our route.
Yet with all these resources, it's the great work of our own weatherdude that impresses me the most. What a treasure!! How many of us (and our family members, friends, and business associates) have been forewarned, protected, and educated by this bright young man, we will never know.
Bienvenu a Louisiana! 5:40 a.m. and there is a beginning of a dawn as we roll along.
One thing that you notice along I-10 and many other fine American interstate highways is the homogenization of the country. Wherever you are, there's your favorite chain restaurant, hotel, or gas station. Oh, sure, you have a bit of regional variation.
Here in the South, we've got Waffle House, a chain of small-sized diner-type places typically open 24 hours a day serving a dazzling array of foods from their signature waffles to chicken-fried steak. The food is nothing to write home about, the service can be kind of passive-aggressive, and the sanitation is sufficient to keep the Board of Health at bay for another week.
The appeal though, is expedience. Co-located with a gas station, the Waffle House will get your meal to you in mere minutes, and as you can imagine, the ambience doesn't encourage you to linger, so back on the road you go. If for some reason you wax nostalgic, worry not, for the next Waffle House will be just the same.
On the one hand, it's comforting to know what to expect, even if it's a lackluster experience. But that's what's depressing about this sameness. The interstate highways are lined with the usual, the ordinary, the bland. Nowadays, if you want to sample local cuisine, you're going to have to take that offramp to reality.
I have had the good fortune to spend time in 45 of the 50 states in the course of my education, work, and personal life. As you've seen in some of my diaries, I have little tolerance for "state hate": those self-righteous comments that suggest that the hurricane, tornado, wildfire, or flood is punishment for the citizens' religious, political, or social defects. We hear a lot of it here on the Great Orange Satan.
When I'm feeling benevolent, I chalk it up to ignorance. Not stupidity, just lack of real-life experience. Some people need to leave their comfort zone and hit the road. Spend some time with people in those "flyover states" (geez, I hate that term. Way to marginalize millions of perfectly fine people). When I'm not feeling benevolent, I'll churn out another diary filled with righteous indignation. Consider yourselves warned.
Memo to Bobby Jindal: I know you're trying to cut back on state spending, dude, but I-10 in western Louisiana is a mess. You can tell right away: you're not in Texas anymore. Check with Rick Perry. He keeps plenty of his cronies employed maintaining the highways in Texas. I'm sure he'd share those "Texas Miracle" secrets with ya.
Well, the sun's coming up now. With this darn hybrid, it will be hours before we stop for gas... Or a Waffle House. If you do stop there, and you're on a low carb diet like I am, try the Philly Cheese Steak Omelet. A taste of the City of Brotherly Love right here in Louisiana... or Mississippi at the rate we're going.
Just imagine all those family road trips when you were a kid - if only you'd had an iPad. You'd never need to ask "are we there yet?". Just check Mapquest or Google Maps. If there was a restroom app, we'd never need to stop at all.
Scary.
Stay tuned for updates as we cruise along.
6:22 AM PT: Fortified with a bite to eat at the Waffle House and 10 gallons of gas (seriously!) we are back on the road.
Just crossed the mighty Mississippi in Baton Rouge. It's sunny and 84 degrees and Bobby, the roads are still atrocious. Please do us all a big favor and get in touch with Rick, okay?
7:24 AM PT: Here's another modern convenience that homogenizes the road: satellite radio. You can set one station at the outset of your trip, and listen to it nonstop. Yeah, it's better than the days of constantly seeking an AM station with the right mix of content and signal strength, but that was part of the fun (and the cause of many a road trip argument).
7:56 AM PT: We're in Mississippi, passing the Stennis Internationa Airport and the John C. Stennis Space Center NASA facility. A red-tailed hawk just flew right across the highway in front of us. James Taylor came on the radio a few minutes ago singing "Goin' to Carolina in my Mind". How cool is that?
8:11 AM PT: Unleaded regular for $2.99 a gallon in Gulfport, Mississippi. Holy cow! It's been $3.12 to $3.17 most of the way. You can thank Mr. Carolina. He buys a hybrid; gasoline prices drop. Y'all are welcome ;-)
Extra credit quiz question: what NFL quarterback hails from Gulfport?
8:59 AM PT: Alabama! We've seen a couple more gas stations with unleaded at $2.99, so that wasn't just one freak outlier. Somewhere, GOP heads are exploding. How dare gas prices drop in the months leading up to the election?! Quick, someone name a special prosecutor!
11:59 AM PT: Stopped for lunch and back on the road. No, not the Waffle House this time, once a day is about enough of that. It's a toasty 97 degrees with those nice puffy white clouds in a blue sky. 210 more miles to go today to our stopping point east of Atlanta. Scary tandem trucks going by. Mr. Carolina reports that, in Australia, they can run three trucks long. Geez... The US is falling behind the rest of the world in everything ;-)
12:27 PM PT: Just passing the enormous Hyundai factory southwest of Montgomery, AL. Shell gasoline station nearby: $2.93 for unleaded! If we keep on driving at this rate, gas will be free by the time we reach NC. We are exiting I-65 and heading east towards Atlanta on I-85. Another southern feature impossible to miss: fireworks stores. These are often cleverly co-located with flammable operations like gas stations. Some are permanent stores; some crop up as temporary vendors before the summer holidays. This is where future Darwin Award winners are probably shopping even as we speak.
2:43 PM PT: Well, we've reached Atlanta and are 11 miles from tonight's destination. Thanks for all these marvelous stories, suggestions, kind thoughts,mand great insights. You've made today's journey a lot more fun! I will keep you posted tomorrow on the rest of our road trip!
3:39 PM PT: Okay, now this was a surreal end to the day. We get to the hotel and open the door to our room. The bed was strewn with rose petals in a big shape of a heart, and there were about 20 candles on various surfaces (unlit), and a vase of roses. While Mr. Carolina is a romantic guy, this of thing is not his style, so we called down to the front desk and explained that this appeared to be someone else's room. Time for a beer. Or two! 833 miles down, around 400 to go tomorrow. A good day on the road. Keepin' an eye on the tropics.
Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 6:22 AM PT: We just crossed over the Savannah River and into South Carolina. Looks like a hot, hazy day, already 82 degrees. Keeping an eye on Debby in the Gulf. The current models offer all sorts of options for mischief.
Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 8:56 AM PT: Stopped for a quick bite at a Waffle House in SC. Yeah, I know. Awful House. But remember: you can get breakfast anytime. So, like Steven Wright, you can order French Toast in the Renaissance. You will also be impressed to learn that among their house brands, Waffle House now offers "Senora Jackie's Casa de Waffle Picante Sauce". No, I am not kidding. It's all about the demographics, baby. 115 miles to go. Still running about $2.98 for regular unleaded.
Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 11:04 AM PT: And we have arrived, along with some rain clouds. Thanks for all your great stories and well wishes! Safe travels to all of you, and don't forget to write a diary,
Sun Jun 24, 2012 at 11:04 AM PT: And we have arrived, along with some rain clouds. Thanks for all your great stories and well wishes! Safe travels to all of you, and don't forget to write a diary,