You know why humans naturally (and statistically) only live into their 70s? Because you have had enough of everyone's bullshit by then.
It seems like we have a lot in common. We should go get help together sometime.
At this point, we’re all just beating off a dead horse.
Instead of saying “I’ll pray for you” when something bad happens, I tell people “I’m going to yell at God for being such a dick to you.”
Sometimes you've gotta respect people's space by getting out of town on a gonzo booze & drug fueled bender in Tijuana.
I’m more flattered when I get hit on by gay guys than women… they have better taste in men.
Anderson Cooper's a Vanderbilt. He didn't come out of the closet, he came out of an antique armoire made from rare Southeast Asian agarwood.
CNN still reporting Anderson Cooper is straight.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (unless the enemy of my enemy is Rupert Murdoch; then, still my enemy)