From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
America: I Apologize
Since Republicans no longer seem to possess anything resembling a conscience, I feel it's my duty as a long-term Maine resident in good standing to issue the following statement:
America, our governor is an idiot and an embarrassment, not only to Maine but to the United States of America, and for this I humbly apologize:
Gov. Paul LePage used his own editorial judgment when he described the IRS as the "new Gestapo" in his radio address last week. But the governor acknowledged Monday that his reference to the Nazi secret police "clouded" his message about the federal health care law. ...
At the same time, LePage told WMTW-TV in an interview Monday: "It was never intended to offend anyone and if someone's offended, then they ought to be goddamned mad at the federal government."
Please understand that our governor was elected with less than 40 percent of the vote. The other 61 percent split their votes between a Democrat and a Democrat masquerading as a "Third Way" independent, thus allowing the current idiot in the governor's mansion to slip through. It happens sometimes. LePage rode in on the rails of the tea party express, but we shall do our utmost to see that he gets rode out on a different kind of rail when re-election time comes in 2014. Then he can trot back to his former profession managing a chain of box stores that sell cheap shit from China and fire-sale remnants, and the grownups who replace his administration can get down to the business of cleaning up his mess.
To sum up: Mainers with even a minimal level of functional brainpower do not believe, as our governor does to the point of broadcasting it to the world, that the IRS is "the new Gestapo."
On behalf of our state, I apologize for the grotesque sentiment expressed last Saturday by our idiot governor. And I also apologize on behalf of our state, including a growing number of Republicans, for the fact that he is our governor. For our governor, you see, is an idiot.
Again: Sorry.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Note: Today's scavenger hunt item is a cold sixpack 'o beer. Whoever brings it to me first wins the grand prize: a can 'o beer. Go! Go! Go!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Olympics in London: 17
Days 'til the International Polka Festival at the Doubletree Hotel in Independence, Ohio: 23
Number of articles retracted from scientific journals in 2000: 3
Number of articles retracted from scientific journals in 2009: 180
(Source: Harper's Index)
Size of McDonald's temporary restaurant site at the London Olympics: 32,000 sq. ft.
Number of diners it expects to serve over the games' duration: 1.7 million
(Source: The Week)
Rank of "Kitty" among most popular cat names in 2011: #1
(Source: Parade)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
How many times are we going to take being fooled. Romney, Roberts, McConnell, Boenner, Lugar, the two liberal sisters from Maine, Alaska’s RINO, Bush and the fence. A party of sellouts--done with them. For the first time in 50 years not going to vote for it makes no difference there are only the democrats and the democrat suck ups--Republicans to vote for.
---Commenter nobozns at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
Okay!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A short-term arrangement, we presume…
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CHEERS to stepping on the economic accelerator. Sorry, people of means. If President Obama gets his way, those of you making over $250,000 per year will be forced to go back in time to the old Clinton-era tax rates. To give you an idea of what that feels like, picture yourself driving down the road at 35 miles per hour and hitting the gas 'til you're going 39. Oh, and you make at least a quarter of a million dollars a year. Feels kind of like that.
CHEERS to sum' sum' summertime. A good time was had by all over the weekend at our New England Kossack meetup up north and west a bit. The rubber ducky brigade at host Mayim's summer cottage included Debbie in ME, Ed Tracey, commonmass & GreenMountainBoy02, Eddie in ME, NauticalKnots and the Mrs., LoreleiHI & Cailin Ard, Common Sense Mainer & Me, plus a gaggle of loons (real ones, not Republican ones), bullfrogs, and a pair of black flies that nearly carried our chocolate lab Molly aloft. Great food, feisty political conversation, and unbeatable scenery. Thank you again, Mayim! As always, if your own little corner of heaven is having a Kossack meetup, drop me a note and I'll give it some ink in C&J. (For an extra buck I can haul out the scratch 'n sniff ink---smells like freedom berries.)
JEERS to hypocrite hosts. Welcome to our first episode of What The Heck Is Pat Robertson Talking About??? Here's the quote:
"We have moved in our conception of the value of human beings over the years until we realized that slavery was terribly wrong."
Is he talking about A) Republican Congressman Allen West's comparison of Social Security and food stamps to slavery, B) Mitt Romney surrogate Ted Nugent's suggestion that America would've been better off if the south had won the Civil War, or C) The way certain pronouncements in the Bible are regularly discarded as civilization wises up to reality. The correct answer is---
[Ding Ding Ding!!!]---
C!!! Thanks, Pat---we'll keep that in mind the next time you whip out the "inviolable word of God" argument to condemn gay people. You sexy evolver, you.
CHEERS to the 44th state. On today's date in 1890, Wyoming joined the union. It's home to Yellowstone National Park, Grand Teton mountain, and Dick Cheney. Well, two outta three ain't bad.
CHEERS to northern composure. Canada, which runs a no-drama government (compared to ours, at least) where corporations aren't people and regulations happily coexist with profit, released its unemployment stats for June, and they…
...unexpectedly fell in June as employers added jobs for a fourth consecutive month and increased wages at the fastest pace in almost three years. ... Government-related employers led gains for a second month. Education added 19,300 workers in June, while health care payrolls climbed 19,900. Public sector employment has increased 45,800 over the past two months, while private employers have cut 48,500 jobs.
See that, kids? Government-related jobs are savin' their Canadian bacon. Imagine what our employment picture would look like if we weren't hacking away at the public sector rolls with the scythe of austerity. Anyway, my point is: would you mind, Canada, if President Obama runs on your numbers for a few months? He promises to give 'em back in November. Thanks, eh.
JEERS to the rule of celebrities dying in threes. It happened again: we lost Norah Ephron, Andy Griffith, and now the great gap-toothed galumph---equally adept at playing good guys and bad guys in more classics than I can count---Ernest Borgnine. My one brief encounter with him was back in '86 when I was interning for the nighttime talk show on WTVN radio. Borgnine's wife was booked to be on (to talk about her line of cosmetics), and I had the job of callling her at home a few minutes before airtime. Ernest answered the phone. "Hello! How are ya! My wife's excited to talk to ya! Here she is!" Not exactly a conversation over beers, but it was enough to make my day. In the DVD player this weekend: Flight of the Phoenix and The Wild Bunch. For starters.
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Five years ago in C&J: July 10, 2007
CHEERS to a new pair 'o duds. About those newly-released books dissecting Hillary Clinton that were going to set off a new round of SCANDAL! and CONTROVERSY! Practically speaking, they arrived DOA and went downhill from there. But nice try.
P.S. After two weeks in release, the paperback version of Ann Coulter's Godless is rising fast...on the list of books languishing on the 25-cent rack at yard sales. Breaks yer heart, don't it?
JEERS to one of the Very Serious People. We interrupt this blog to bring you today's edition of Pundits Say The Darndest Things. Last weekend on Fox News Sunday, The Weekly Standard editor Bill Kristol said President Bush "is poised for a comeback." In other news, Webster's Dictionary has revised its definition of comeback as: "Anything that falls off a ledge and lands in a pile of shit." Please make a note of it.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the fickle hand of fate. Portland, Maine actor/filmmaker Jeremiah McDonald boasts on his website that, since 2006, his short films have gotten over 4 million combined views on You Tube. That was before last Thursday, when he posted a video of his jaded 32 year-old self having a conversation with his smart-alecky 12 year-old self. In five days it's been viewed over five million times. Worth the attention? We think so---click here and Judge for yourself. It does make ya wonder: what would you ask your twenty-years-from-now self? Older Billy would be 67, so I guess the first question would be: "How much 'm I gettin' in my Social Security check?" And upon hearing the answer, the second would likely be: "Which brand of Fancy Feast is my favorite?"
Have a nice Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Boehner: "I can't make you love Bill in Portland Maine."
---CBS News
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