Congratulations, Michael Phelps. You have more than earned yourself a future reality show with awful stepdaughters.
It's weird how uninteresting women's beach volleyball is when they're all wearing thermals.
One of the Chinese female gymnasts was just a fetus. They threw it at a pommel horse. That's not right.
Am I the only one who thinks it’s funny that the Chinese athletes are competing to win back the medals they probably made a month ago?
There aren't any Chick-fil-A where I live but the guy that runs the diner seems pretty intolerant so I'll yell at him for a bit.
Chick-fil-A introducing their "Only Some People Are Allowed to Be Happy" meal.
If you told me after Wal-Mart closes the employees lock the doors and have a fight club I would believe you.
It turns out Obama is related to our country's first enslaved man (while Romney is related to our first plantation owner).
Brett Micheals is single... Ladies go sniff his bandana, its smells like Rogain and bad music.
Gore Vidal died. Comedian Patton Oswalt wrote this about Vidal's death...
"Welcome to the afterlife, you goddamn queer."
"I see you've already stunk up the place, you crypto-fascist."
Buckley & Vidal, BFFs