On Saturday evening, U.S. citizens were tantalized by Mitt Romney's proclamation that something "dramatic" was needed to spur America's faltering economic fortunes.
While he remained coy in a CNN interview, refusing to reveal what this dramatic something might be, there was a twinkle in his eyes, a mischeivous glimmer.
It was obvious the GOP presidential candidate had something to reveal when he told Candy Crowley:
“I can absolutely make the case that now is the time for something dramatic and it is not to grow government,” said Romney. “It is the time to create the incentives and the opportunities for entrepreneurs - businesses big and small - to hire more people and that is going to happen.”
That is going to happen, Romney announced. But what? What are these incentives and opportunities -- dramatic in nature -- of which Romney spoke?
Absent an answer, speculation ran wild amongst political talking heads. Is he planning a man-made hurricane that will devastate the East Coast and create massive hiring needs in the construction and insurance adjustment sectors? Is he concocting a reverse funnel from offshore tax havens that will stream once-hidden money into the hands of ordinary business owners, in the form of silver coins, that will rain from the heavens? Or has he discovered those elusive pots of gold that sit beneath the ends of rainbows?
Today, Romney's campaign ended all the wild speculation and revealed a truly "dramatic" economic recovery plan which political observers are already calling breathtaking and utterly mind-boggling.
This from a Romney campaign release:
For too long, Americans have suffered under the weight of a crushing national debt that has only ballooned in recent years due to the Obama administration's love-affair with job-creating stimulus packages.
And ordinary business owners just can't get by without the tax havens breaks they need to incentivize hiring.
Which is why Mitt Romney has come up with a plan to save America's economy, called Mitt Romney's Plan to Save America's Economy.
And it is this: any small business owner who hires 10-50 new employees in the 2012-2013 fiscal year will be offered a ride on Anne Romney's horse, Rafalca, a gorgeous 15-year-old mare and distinguished Olympian.
Any small to mid-size business owner who hires 50-100 new employees in the 2012-2013 fiscal year will be offered a ride on one of Romnye's private jets to the Cayman Islands, where certain discreet matters might be discussed as well.
And any small to mid-size business owner who hires over 100 new employees in the 2012-2013 fiscal year will be given the truly dramatic opportunity to privately, and secretly, take a peek at Romney's tax returns for the last 15 years and see just how the GOP presidential candidate managed to amass a ridiculous amount of wealth without "growing government" by giving it a dime.
With Romney's stirring economic recovery plan now revealed, the Obama administration will surely have to respond. However, few think the current President will be able to match such enticements.
"What can he offer? A basketball game on the White House court? A ride on Air Force One to some campaign stop in Iowa? A trip to Michelle's healthy garden for some pruning and weed-pulling?" said Chuck Todd of NBC. "When you think about it, there's just nothing more dramatic than getting a ride on Anne's mare or peeking at Romney's returns. Nothing."
When reached for comment on how the Obama campaign would respond, David Axelrod had only two words: you're serious?
Apparently, Romney is the only one who is serious about saving America.
Dramatically so.
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Author's Note: after the act of domestic terrorism today in Wisconsin, I hope this can serve as a bit of respite. My thoughts and prayers are with those injured and the families.