Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
4,000 people are having sex right now. 25,000 are kissing. 50,000 are hugging. And you... Well you're reading this.
What I’ve learned from medical shows is that if it’s safe enough to transport a 6 pack of beer then it’s safe enough to transport internal organs.
Relationships are just a long, angry game of "you're it".
Man, this Obamaloney sandwich is awesome. Thank you, Mitt, for recommending it.
Caution, this country makes wide right turns.
Find a peaceful place. Clear your mind. Breathe deeply. Rob a liquor store. Punch a birthday clown. Eat raw steak out of a bed pan.
Here's your horoscope for today: The universe doesn't even know that you exist.
People hate the Truth, but the Truth doesn't give a Fuck what you think.
No statistics today. I ate all the pie charts.