Dear Baby Jesus,
I want to thank You for so many blessings that You have recently sent my way.
I want to thank You for Todd Akin who has exposed the entire Republican Party -- from Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan on down to the most underdog House candidate -- for the misogynists and backwards-thinkers they are.
I want to thank You for Rep. Steve King who, once again, piles on the already-exposed ignorance of a fellow Republican with his own monumental witlessness that helps keep this issue alive.
I want to thank You for Willard "Mitt" Romney, professional waffler, who once again displays the courage to move from "I disagree with Todd Akin" to the unclear "... he should very seriously consider what course would be in the best interest of the country" over the course of three days. (I'm still not sure what point Willard is making.)
I want to thank You, Baby Jesus, for possibly forcing Pat Robertson to declare next week after a hurricane strikes Florida near the site of the Republican convention that, "God struck the convention with a hurricane because of Mitt Romney's sinful stance that raped women should be allowed to get abortions."
Baby Jesus, I can't thank You enough for putting Paul Ryan in a position where he has to discuss his own, long and storied efforts to pass legislation that would make abortions illegal under any circumstances, even in cases of rape and incest.
Dear Baby Jesus, thank You for all of these blessings and any other blessings You deem worthy to bestow upon me before the election.
Amen.