Laugh with me at the morons at RedState, won't you?
In a headlining article summarizing the Akin situation yesterday, Jake Walker from RedState gives us his deepest hand-wringing, furrowed brow outlook on the whole "taking about rape is hard when you're a misunderstood conservative" thing:
First of all, the remarks demonstrate why I do not care for talking about abortion unless I must: it is incredibly easy to shoot myself in the foot with poorly chosen words.
Indeed. I know better, and -- here's the tricky part -- I
know I know better, but dag nabbit it's so gosh durn easy to
choose my words poorly when I try to explain why rape victims should have to be forced by our secular government to carry their babies to term (which I must, periodically). Words! So challenging!
Suffice to say, we do know that there are false rape accusations, as the Duke lacrosse case demonstrated.
Yes -- there are. People fake stuff all the time. People have even been known to fake their own deaths! Which is why, whenever considering laws related to, say, homicide, a sizable portion of the debate is centered on how new legislation might be manipulated and misused by the homicide-faking portion of the population just chomping at the bit to trick us.
Ultimately though,
The damage has been done. Though I have no doubt as to the sincerity of Todd Akin’s pro-life or Christian convictions, his comments have sufficiently ruined him as an advocate for the pro-life cause and as a candidate in what should be a very winnable seat. He should have stood aside in the best interest of himself, of the Republican Party, of the pro-life movement, and of conservatism.
Clearly. Though Paul Ryan
holds the same view, and Mitt Romney
holds the same view, and the official GOP party platform
espouses the same view, let's now all bow our heads in a moment of silence for the stupidity and poor word choice (words again! tricky assholes!) of Brother Akin who had the misfortune of actually talking about our misguided policy in a way that lent itself to newspaper headlines and nationwide outrage. Even though zero daylight exists between his views and ours, it is clear that we must make the sobering and mature decision to cast him aside in hopes that voters will then assume we don't believe the same crazy bullshit he does. Even though we do.
(He certainly doesn't need to resign his current House seat though. Let's not be silly!)
But of course the real fun, as always, happens in the comment section.
Ready? Sitting down?
The rabid redstaters are beside themselves, want Akin out of there ASAP (jobs jobs jobs or whatever, right! college transcripts! welfare! stop talking about rape everyone! la la la la la wecanthearyouwecanthearyou!!!), and no options are off the table.
Pass the popcorn:
"McConnell can announce that, should Akin win, he will not be permitted to join the Republican Senatorial Caucus; he will be given no committee assignments; and no bill he sponsors or co-sponsors will be supported by the leadership. He can be a Senator, but he will have no active role in setting policy or advancing legislation."
And no one will sit with him at lunch! And he's totally not invited to Paul Ryan's P90x Oval Office training sessions!
"Romney should call Akins privately and inform him that, should Akins win his Senate seat and Romney the Presidency, he will have no access to the Executive Branch – no meetings or access to Romney or senior staff."
And if he's in a meeting, and starts talking, everyone will pretend they can't hear him. And no one will push him on the swings at recess.
"I believe that the Mrs. McCaskill and the Democrats spent large sums to promote him as “the most conservative candidate”; ie. the one she wanted to run against. And our side fell for it."
We were snookered, we were! It's almost as if a moderate wanted to run against an extremist because she thought there were more moderate views than extreme views amongst the electorate! And we bought it hook, line and sinker!
"I’d tell him that all the money that would have been used to support him will now be used against him. I’d have Paul Ryan start making robo calls into MO saying that Akin is a creep who chases after underage male pages. Then I’d have Karl Rove’s Super PAC run ads accusing Akin of having fathered an illegitimate child from a women who was an illegal immigrant. I’d run the ads in heavy circulation."
Would the headline "Mitt Romney Makes Robo-Calls" be redundant?
"Hate how Ryan's personal views are being confused with Aiken’s just because he and OVER 200 GOPers co-sponsored legislation related to abortion. They are not the same and I hope Ryan explains the difference between his and Aiken’s to get ahead of the pending MSM narrative that Ryan has ‘extremist’ views on Abortion re: rape and incest"
That's right -- the legislation was just "related" to abortion, after all. I haven't read it so I'm not sure how it's different from what Akin said, but I imagine Paul Ryan wanted to create an Abortion Post Office or lower the price of arrows for rape victims or something. Surely nothing extremist!
"Very disapointed in Tony Perkins."
Agreed.
"Abortion should never have been an issue or a talking point in this election. Any question about abortion should have been answered “I’m pro-life and the only issue in this election is how Obama and the Democrats have drained the life and the hope out of the nation. It’s time for a change.”"
Definitely. And there's always the fingers-in-the-ears thing if they just won't shut up about a candidate's views on social issues. Why do they think we're passing abortion-restricting laws at such a furious rate during
this Congress?
Because we don't want to deal with it at all next year! So really all these questions are stupid.
"Scott Brown will need to do some campaigning with his wife"
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
"The DEMS already have a PAGE set up devoted to AKIN and all his statements that are questionable??? ALREADY!! And do you think people will visit that page now???? OH YEAH!!"
How did they get it up there so fast???
"Kit Bond = instant name recognition. This would be a great idea for a write-in candidate. Maybe we can Murkowski this Akin guy."
"Murkowski" is now a verb. That is all.
"I have been waiting for this all day. Is Kit Bond interested? Is it possible for Bond to reduce Akin’s support to near irrelevance? I’d money bomb this to death."
refresh..... dammit.
refresh..... dammit.
refresh....... YES! Money bomb!
"It's not too late for Akin to withdraw. So we can look forward to him maybe coming to his senses."
Ah, if only those two things were related.
It truly is a magical, magical time. Republicans in full freak-out mode over someone on their side speaking his mind about an extremist view shared by most in their party, including its presidential ticket, just in time to crash their convention and suck all the air out of their VP announcement.
It's almost enough to make you wonder if Romney and Ryan should just quit, you know? Just throw in the towel and abort their entire campaign.
Nah.
They should probably carry it to term.