A funny thing (actually, several of them) happened on the way to Mitt Romney's coronation, and it wasn't the weather—although that did cause Donald Trump's Monday night "surprise" to be cancelled, which is pretty funny in itself.
Father Rick Santorum opened Tuesday's proceedings with a sermon (he built!) on a mountain of bullshit, and then handed the teleprompter to Mitt's real wife, Ann.
She did her best to close the gender gap, even going so far as to express a special love for teh womenz, but it was probably all for nada.
Finishing out the night was keynote speaker Chris Christie, who didn't want to be Mitt's running mate, and wasn't into Ann's lovey-dovey talk so much as he was into himself.
On Wednesday, after Condi Rice had sufficiently milked the applause, it was time for vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan to step up—and step up he did; what his speech lacked in starbursts, it more than made up for with lies.
And then came Thursday—a night which will live in infamy.
When Hollywood gunslinger Clint Eastwood made his way to the stage, he threw caution (and the script) to the wind, and things quickly took a turn for the surreal.
In the course of a 12-minute free-form homage to Samuel Beckett, Eastwood introduced himself to a new generation of armchair politicos, and gave birth to one of the greatest memes of all time.
Nothing else mattered after that.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel (D); Roundtable: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA), Former CEO of Hewlett-Packard Carly Fiorina, Presidential Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, Tom Friedman (New York Times) and Tom Brokaw (NBC News).
Face the Nation: Obama Deputy Campaign Manager Stephanie Cutter; Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley (D); Former New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D); Roundtable: Dan Balz (Washington Post), Trish Regan (Bloomberg Television), Georgetown University Professor Michael Eric Dyson and John Dickerson (CBS News).
This Week: Obama Campaign Senior Adviser Daivd Plouffe; Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Bill Burton (Priorities USA), Former Massachusetts Lt. Gov. Kerry Healey (R), Democratic Strategist Donna Brazile and Republican Strategist Matthew Dowd.
Fox News Sunday: Obama Campaign Senior Adviser David Axelrod; Chairman of the Democratic National Convention/Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa; Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Kirsten Powers (Daily Beast), Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard) and Jeff Zeleny (New York Times).
State of the Union: Chairman of the Democratic National Convention/Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa; North Carolina Gov. Bev Perdue (D); Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley (D); Obama Campaign Senior Adviser Robert Gibbs; Jessica Yellin (CNN); Dan Balz (Washington Post); Reliable Sources: David Drucker (Roll Call); Christina Bellantoni (PBS); Lauren Ashburn (Daily-Download.com); Jennifer Rubin (Washington Post); John Aravosis (AmericaBlog.com); Executive at Twitter Adam Sharp.
The Chris Matthews Show: Helene Cooper (New York Times); Kelly O'Donnell (NBC News); Sam Donaldson (ABC News); John Heilemann (New York Magazine).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Former Bain Capitol Executive Edward Conrad; President of Americans for Tax Reform Grover Norquist, Businessman Nick Hanauer; Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson; Author Bernard Lewis.
Up with Chris Hayes: Former Green Jobs "Czar" Van Jones; Democratic House Candidate Rob Zerban (WI-1); Democratic Senate Candidate Cynthia Dill (ME); Democratic House Candidate Hakeem Jeffries (NY-8); Democratic House Candidate Kyrsten Sinema (AZ-8); Democratic House Candidate Nate Shinagawa (NY-23); Member of President Obama's Jobs Council Robert Wolf; John Nichols (The Nation); Neera Tanden (Center for American Progress); Radio Host Rose Aguilar.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: an interview with the former member of Navy SEAL Team 6 who has written a book about the raid on Osama bin Laden's compound (preview); a report on the remarkable turnaround of Chrysler (preview); and, a report on the science behind the real and artificial flavors that make foods and beverages so tasty (preview).
On Comedy Central...
Jon Stewart offered critical praise to Clint Eastwood for his RNC performance.
The Daily Show
Monday: Preempted
Tuesday: Tom Brokaw (NBC News)
Wednesday: Sen. Kristen Gillibrand (D-NY)
Thursday: Former Economic Adviser to President Obama Austan Goolsbee
Friday: TBA
And Stephen Colbert found much truthiness in Paul Ryan's convention speech.
The Colbert Report
Monday: Preempted
Tuesday: Conservative Columnist Reihan Salam
Wednesday: Author Michael Grunwald
Thursday: Former New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
Friday: Former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell (D)
Elsewhere...
Sen. Lindsey Graham made a startling admission about the GOP's survival prospects.
From the convention stage here, the Republican Party has tried to highlight its diversity, giving prime speaking slots to Latinos and blacks who have emphasized their party's economic appeal to all Americans.
But they have delivered those speeches to a convention hall filled overwhelmingly with white faces, an awkward contrast that has been made more uncomfortable this week by a series of racial headaches that have intruded on the party's efforts to project a new level of inclusiveness. [...]
"The demographics race we're losing badly," said Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.). "We're not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term."
Also, too...
Sarah Palin may soon be going the way of the dodo bird.
Last night's kerfuffle between Sarah Palin and Fox News was a classic display of Sarah Palin being, well, Sarah Palin. But her Facebook outburst complaining about Fox canceling her appearance at the Republic National Convention reveals something deeper about Palin's often rocky relationship with the network. Palin's contract is up in January, and according to sources, Fox News executives are now weighing what kind of deal they would sign, if they sign one at all.
Essentially, Palin and Fox are in the early stages of an elaborate contract negotiation. Palin earns roughly $1 million per year from Fox, making her the highest paid contributor at the network. Fox executives have been disappointed with her ratings; Palin has been disappointed by Fox's decision to not give her top billing on bookings. According to sources, the relationship at times has gotten so bad that much communication has been conducted via Palin’s husband Todd. One thing is clear: It's risky for her to push the envelope too far. Fox has been a central pillar of Palin’s national reach since quitting the governorship, and without the network's platform, it's unclear how she could maintain even her current, much-diminished level of visibility.
Meanwhile...
Karl Rove offered a clue into the potential murder of Rep. Todd Akin.
On the final morning of the Republican National Convention, Karl Rove took the stage at the Tampa Club to provide an exclusive breakfast briefing to about 70 of the Republican Party's highest-earning and most powerful donors. During the more than hour-long session, Rove explained to an audience dotted with hedge fund billionaires and investors—including John Paulson and Wilbur Ross—how his super PAC, American Crossroads, will persuade undecided voters in crucial swing states to vote against Barack Obama.
He also detailed plans for Senate and House races, and joked, "We should sink Todd Akin. If he's found mysteriously murdered, don't look for my whereabouts!"
Then Rove pleaded with his audience for more money—much more.
This must be the place.
- Trix