I hear that Shofar blowing like one hears the whistle blowing described in stories, songs and the like.
This religious holiday known as Rosh Hashanah, the new year, the start of what Jews refer to as high holy days. Rightfully so since this holiday as well as Yom Kippur are ones that deal with one's self verses a historic moment, seasonal moment and etc.
This is the start of self examination. This is the time to make peace. This is the time to come to terms with ourselves.
This is the holiday that I chose to make my stance and rebel against my Orthodox family foundation.
As I reflect I still do not know why it had to be Rosh Hashanah that I spoke back to my parents and told them I could not go to the synagogue. I found the people to be false and not following the law. I felt by going I too would be false. I saw the men of the congregation wearing their tennis shoes with Armani suits (that is all good). Yet the wives of these men were wearing more jewelry than ever seemed possible along with leather heels and leopard,mink or beaver or leather, seal and etc. coats!
Anyone knowing the Jewish law knows that this is a no no. To make it worse, at least two hours of the first day of service was dedicated in honoring those who donated money or bought something for the synagogue. I asked my father why this was so. He responded by saying that this was the one time, for sure the Rabbi could count on all the Jews in the neighborhood coming to the synagogue. It made sense in that regard however it was like a contest. I was happy to learn however that my Dad bought a drinking fountain for the place.
Yet this burned in my heart and it was the start of many years of disappointment, misunderstanding, heartache of the highest magnitude and just plain division of family and friends.
Nothing new for many even if they are not Jewish. It is that time in some people's lives where you say you cannot follow the religious faith that your family gave you as your foundation. It is the time when you begin your own search for a truth if that is it or just to be free of boundaries that were more like imprisonment instead of ways to conduct your life.
Now many years have passed since that Rosh Hashanah. In time my father and I grew to accept our religious differences. I explored other religions and my father later would jokingly say that religion was my hobby.
Initially however, my father felt as if I were telling him being Jewish wasn't good enough. Initially he felt I was rejecting the heritage he gave me, I understood the feeling yet as time passed my father grew to see I never threw away anything.
I still light my Shabbos candles. I taught my daughter how to do the same and taught her how to say the prayers in Hebrew. I have my mezuzah on a slant on the right side of my new abode. I light my Yahrtzeit candles. I light them for my mother, my only brother and for my father. Most importantly I strive to be the best I can be. I strive to fight for the things that are wrong, like slavery no matter what shape it may take. I align myself with the Democratic side of the fence because any self respecting plain and simple, Jewish kid such as myself knows the value of human rights and what political party represents same. I will work on repentance for the disgust I feel when I see some of my long time Jewish friends that I did have left are smug with their conservative Republican selves. I would venture to guess they are the ones wearing the animal skins and lots of lots of lots of jewelry.
I love you Dad and I thank you Dad for the foundation you gave me brought courage with it. I will never stop saying thank you. I will always pause and reflect, make peace and repent during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. I will do that outside of the Synagogue walls for now.
I hear that Shofar blowing and I am croaking, ribit, ribit, L'Shana Tova!