After more than a week of what has been described by political pundits across the political spectrum as an "utter disaster", their "darkest hour", and even as "arrogant and stupid", the Romney-Ryan campaign has released a statement that they have decided to shake up the campaign by parting ways with former Governor Williard "Mitt" Romney. Campaign Adviser, Eric Fehrnstrom is quoted as saying that "After long consideration, the Romney-Ryan campaign has decided to go another direction. Occasional course corrections, including personnel changes, are quite common, and we don't feel this will cause any problems as we move towards Election Day."
Campaign insiders, however, say that the firing of Romney came about after a long string of missteps, gaffes, and an inability to appear animated or even life-like when interacting with voters at campaign events. It's also been rumored that he was causing distress to staffers when visiting campaign offices. Said one such staffer, "It was just kind of uncomfortable the way he would shake my hand, introduce himself, and laugh in that creepy way of his every time he stopped into the campaign's headquarters. He never seemed to remember my name, and after the fourth or fifth time, I finally reported it to my supervisor." Said the same staffer, "You know, with all of the campaign funds we're raising, we really should be able to afford to hire a better quality of candidate I would think."
Campaign insiders are saying that they have not decided when they will hire a replacement for Romney, but in the mean time, they are performing focus group testing with the use of a standing cardboard cutout of the former candidate. So far, results with "Flat Mitt" as he has been dubbed, have been largely positive, and it is hoped that the campaign's sinking poll numbers can be salvaged long enough by to see them through the tough weeks of campaigning leading up to Election Day on November 6th.
Publicly, according to campaign advisers, Governor Romney wants to spend more time with his money, and for the time being, the rest of the Romney family will remain with the campaign. Congressman Paul Ryan, Vice Presidential candidate on the Republican ticket has not yet commented on the personnel change, as he was attending an important P90X caucus function, but one highly placed source within the campaign has cautioned that, "This is indeed a campaign of ideas, and no one individual is irreplacable."