For a party so apparently enamoured of the Constitution, Republicans can be remarkably stupid sometimes.
Let's jump over the orange remains of Paul Ryan after our Joe was done with him ....
and don't trip over the sippy cup!
Okay guys, you got the second amendment although that was mainly because five justices were in such a hurry to hand down a decision that they, in their haste, forgot to read the first part of the sentence.
No matter, it's a done deal, please feel free to "stand your ground" and shoot the crap out of anyone who approaches. You have a Constitutional Right and that means we do not get to vote on it, we do not get to Legislate it away. Indeed, nothing short of a Constitutional Amendment or a sane Supreme Court will ever again be able to challenge a right that is "inalienable".
So get this ... and I know it will be received with some dismay ... there are a few other inalienable rights too.
One of them is a woman's right to privacy in her healthcare. This will come as a bit of a shock to Lyin' Ryan, for it is he, as he thinks it should be legislated away. Good luck with that. Maybe we should legislate away your guns while we are at it .... No?
No matter, that was a mere "decision" of the Court, not an amendment so let us start with the First. It comes before the Second. It clearly says that we are to be allowed to live free from religion; that government shall make no laws establishing a religion ...
So when you are asked what effect your faith has on your public life, suggesting to the country that it is the basis of everything you do is pretty stupid. It is especially egregious if it is almost the same sentence as your insistence that you would legislate away other Rights.
Props, by the way, to "Moderating Martha", because tonight she exercised her freedoms codified in that self-same amendment ... the freedom of the Press, Congressman Ryan!
The Third Amendment is a bit less controversial. Although I would point out that strictures against quartering soldiers in private homes without the owners consent is not an instruction to abandon our veterans as soon as they disembark. I don't want to hear how grateful you are, I want you to take care of them. We all want you to take care of them and you will be judged not by what you say, but by what you vote for.
We'll skip over the Fourth Amendment, because it no longer exists and Joe ... Uncle Joe Biden ... We want it back. Tell your boss.
The Fifth ... Ah, the Fifth. I still don't fully understand why so many of your advisors and predecessors are not making full use of this one. Indeed, you are reveling in the results of lies y'all told, and the consequent deaths of fine Americans appear simply to be collateral damage in your world. We may have to dust it off. Maybe the press will help, which of course brings us back to the First.
We will honor the Sixth, and grant you and your criminal cohorts as speedy a trial as you wish. If not here, then I hear The Hague is nice in springtime. Or Nuremberg ... They had trials there once before ... for war criminals! We'll wrap this one up with the Seventh ... You can have an all-black jury, which will be about as fair and balanced as the all-white juries many black folk have faced down the years. Good luck.
Given extraordinary rendition, Guantanamo Bay, Bradley Manning and the clear direction from Republicans that little short of death or serious bodily injury constitutes "cruel and unusual punishment" I feel confident you will not object if we follow up the previous paragraph by ignoring the Eighth Amendment. After all, you, Congressman, have consistently voted to abandon it.
You don't understand the Ninth. None of you do but I promise it will bite you in the ass one day. It was put there because the Founders understood that you would one day arrive and pollute our political process. "expressio unius est exclusio alterius" Go look it up.
Which brings us neatly to the Tenth. The Tenth Amendment should be easy for you guys. After all, it does little more than state the bleeding obvious! Oh yeah, the Commerce Clause. You can't love it when it allows your mates to help themselves to billions of dollars of inter-state trade, then hate it when it allows a mandate. You might be in favour of such mental gymnastics, but that is just intellectual dishonesty.
Besides, Mitt likes the mandate. He imposed a mandate, said it was the best thing since sliced bread, and a great model for the country at large ... There, that pesky Commerce Clause again with RMoney it's greatest fanboi!
I'll leave you with a few words by Sir Walter Scott. Maybe someone should have mentioned this before you took on Joe, because quite frankly it was like watching a Statesman having a battle of wits with an unarmed man ...
"Oh what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive"