[Wilmington, DE] A group of white men with impeccable credentials issued a statement today in advance of formal publication of a study they recently concluded into whether or not women are human beings. This groundbreaking research was funded by large corporations of white men who have been working together for centuries to settle once and for all the issue of how human women really are. Although initially framed as “final, conclusive proof that women are not human in any way and certainly not responsible for decisions in politics, finance or the control of their own bodies”, the project has been rumored to prove the opposite.
(posted at sgb tumblr)
With these controversial findings amassing over the years, rumors swirled that the research would be scrapped in favor of some more conclusive studies currently under revision by several religious organizations including the Vatican. Ultimately, no agreement could be reached over revenue sharing and licensing, so the project has been forced to go it alone.
Today’s announcement is being viewed as an attempt to soften the blow for the large segment of the population most likely to feel the negative impact from any proof of women as human: men - and all the institutions that rely on the model of men as human and women as sub/non human.
One topic not covered in today’s announcement that could dwarf “the women problem” is the research work done on gender & sex. Although speculation has been rife on this topic, the Very Serious White Male Institute has ignored the topic in all public statements and venues. Anonymous interviews with Institute personnel in chat rooms and brothels have indicated that the bottom could drop in the white male supremacy market as a result of what is contained in this report.
The findings will be published in peer-reviewed journals during the week between Christmas and New Year’s of 2012.