I am usually pretty level emotionally (unless I get pissed at injustice or someone almost killing me in traffic), but this election has got me off balance. I suppose that it's due to the fact I have dear loved ones who's lives are in the balance. My mother in law living in a home paid for by medicaid which Romney promises to cut. My brothers in the military who have been in the middle east and who could be sent into a ground war with Iran. I am trying to stay cool, but I am worried out of my mind. I am like the opposite of Obama. He's cool when he's up in the polls and cool when he's down in the polls. I was worried when he was up in the polls and I am worried now that he's down in the polls. I just have so much at stake that I can't relax.
I have moments when I feel great. After the last 2 debates. Watching Obama diagnose Mitt with Romnesia today. But those moments fade and the pit of my stomach hurts with worry about what happens to my loved ones if Obama loses. You know, I was fine during earlier elections, because I always believe that America is strong enough to survive bad Presidents. But this election is different. We are in a fragile recovery from a near Depression. We can't fuck with things right now. We can not only lose ground and go back into recession, but we could lose control and fall into a Depression. All of the gains of the last 4 years can be erased and we could go back into free fall. It's that fragile both here and around the world.
When my mother in law came to live with my wife and I after being released from the hospital after an emergency brain tumor surgery, her diabetes made her so fragile during her recovery that she almost died numerous times out of the blue. I can't help but see this economy and the instability of the middle east in a similar way. We are so fragile on both fronts. We cannot fuck around with either. The stakes aren't just about progress but about keeping the economy and the world stable. I don't know how anyone is able to keep cool right now.
I really can't believe that the GOP are being so irresponsible and treating all of this like we're still living in the 80s and life is about making money. They play games with the world. I don't know how Obama doesn't just lose his shit and start pounding his fist on a podium and demand that everyone wake the fuck up before we stupid ourselves into either a world depression and/or another world war.
I guess that's why Obama's President and I am not.
Anyway, to those people here who I pissed off earlier with my depressed comments. I apologize. I am not trying to depress anyone. I am just feeling the weight of the stakes of this election. Especially with my loved one's lives at stake. I hope you understand. I have friends and family who care a lot about what happens in this election, but this is the place where I go to let down my guard and say that I am afraid of losing this election because of what it means. You all know the stakes. You don't compartmentalize politics into something you pay attention to once every other year. I love my friends and family, but this place is like being in the military or police. You're all my fellow activists. You are here for the daily battles. Which is why I guess this place is called Daily Kos.