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Dear Republicans,

You're feeling pretty bummed right now, and we can understand that. You were hoping that the familiar white guy with the reassuring smile would take charge and make sure that you wouldn't have to start caring about anyone besides yourself. Come over here and have some cookies and milk. Don't worry, they're local, hormone-free, and non-GMO. Because we care about your health.

You're currently flailing about for purchase in a world turned topsy turvy. It's okay, take a moment to re-adjust. We hear you wailing about everything from the Dow plummeting, to days-long waits at emergency rooms, to the country going bankrupt, to your parakeet being diagnosed with rectal cancer. And none of that is going to happen. Take a deep breath. It's okay, the air is clean and smog-free.

So what's going to happen is that we're going to move forward. And you can dig your heels in and refuse to budge, but this country has decided to move toward a set of policies that benefit every man, woman, and child in America. Like a continental shift, you're going to be swept along with it whether you want to or not.

We're going to continue toward progress, with reason and hope prevailing over fear. Religion is going to remain separate from our government. Women are going to be treated as equals instead of inferiors. People with different sexual orientations are going to be given the same rights that you've enjoyed. People in poverty are going to be offered a helping hand to keep them out of desperation. The arts will remain a valued part of our lives. All people are going to be represented in America; not just the wealthy, the white, and the heterosexual.

We know you're scared. You're upset that someone who doesn't look like you had a big say in picking our leader. That's going to be the norm from now on. You're upset that government isn't enforcing your religious beliefs. That's okay, your house of worship will still enforce the arbitrary set of rules you choose to live your life by.

You're upset that you have to chip in to help strangers have a basic right to a healthy life. If it helps, think of taxes as one giant change jar in a convenience store that we're all contributing to. It might have a picture of your neighbor on the front. Or perhaps someday, even you. You might have to give up a little, so that others can have enough. And if you're someone who doesn't have enough, we're going to make sure you have more.

None of those terrible things you're afraid of are going to happen. There will not be abortions in the streets and gay people will not force Wicca on your children. But please, feel free to have your parakeet checked for rectal cancer. If we have our way, he can even get the checkup for free. It's going to be okay, Republicans. It's going to be okay.

Those who re-elected our President.


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