From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Gay Wedding Reception Tip: The Salad Pitchfork Is The Smaller One
Now that we know marriage equality is coming to Maine (and also Maryland and Washington), I think it's only fair to let everyone know what we might be in for. This was the warning issued by "No Special Rights PAC" back in April:
"Pray that God will deliver our State and Country from this attack by demonic force, and that marriage between man and woman will be restored to its rightful place of honor, to the glory of Almighty God."Also:
The truth about the vote this November is that it isn't a battle between nice people who happen to disagree. It is not important that we respect the devil. It is important that we condemn him, and those who wish to use the sexual instinct in humanity for their own ends. … I want to bury this evil.The votes having been counted, it now appears that 53 percent of Mainers went all craaaaazy demonic on election day. And now the devil is doing his devil's work bwoo ha ha:
did you listen? Nooooo!!!
[F]or [Rodney] Mondor and [Ray] Dumont, and for their 13-year-old son, Ethan, being able to marry legally and have that recognition means that what for years has defined their family---their own circle of love, support, commitment and the work and play of a day-to-day life---now also has been "recognized" by the state and the world beyond their family, friends and acquaintances. … "It's a very serious thing to show our commitment, to show our love," he said. … Meanwhile, everyday life has already returned to normal. "Everything in our life is still the same," Mondor said. "We're still chasing (Ethan) to do his homework," said Dumont. "Still getting him to basketball practice."Shocking! And, you just watch, allowing gay marriage means Mainers will soon be paying a price for the tools of Satan's trade…like, oh, flowers and honeymoon suites and DJs and stuff:
"Maine is a hot-spot destination location for weddings," [wedding photographer Emilie] Sommer said. "(The new law is) going to do tremendous things for the wedding business in Maine." … [Wedding planner Diane] York said the average cost of a wedding in Maine with 120 guests is $23,000; the national average is $27,000. Destination weddings can push that figure up to $75,000 to $100,000, says Barbara Whitten, president of the Greater Portland Convention and Visitors Bureau. "I think we would probably gain also in the honeymooning side of things," Whitten said. …We'll keep a close eye on how the battle between good and evil shakes out once the first marriage licenses are issued to same-sex couples next month. Personally, I'm betting on evil. Mainly because I just got a really awesome deal on a locust farm! Anyone know how many of 'em constitute a plague? (Never mind---I'll check Conservapedia.)
Marilyee Dowling, a notary public in Wells, has married more than 200 couples since 1979 in weddings that have ranged from a simple morning beach affair to a grand event with 350 guests. She can't wait to offer her services to her gay friends. "I have many gay friends, some of whom have been together for years, and have more of an idea of commitment and what real marriage is about" than heterosexual couples, Dowling said.Devil's food cake, most likely!
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 15, 2012
Note: For those of you cooking Thanksgiving turkeys weighing over 250 pounds, today's the day to pop 'em in the oven. And also the day to realize you're going to need a bigger oven.
Days 'til Atlantic hurricane season ends: 15
Days 'til the 15th annual International Pickle Festival in Rosendale, New York: 3
Number of Maine counties won by Mitt Romney (by 409 votes): 1 (Piscataquis)
Percent of votes for McCain in '08 and Romney in '12, respectively, in Piscataquis County: 50.8%, 50.8%
(Source: AP/Portland Press Herald)
Amount the Obama campaign spent per vote: $1.83
Amount the Romney campaign spent per vote: $6.35
(Source: Propublica via Joe. My. God.)
Percent of their workweek that managers spend dealing with slackers: 17%
(Source: L.A. Times)
Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The sheer pleasure of getting lessons in etiquette from Karl Rove and the right-wing media passeth all understanding. Ever since 1994, the Republican Party has gone after Democrats with the frenzy of a foaming mad dog. There was the impeachment of Bill Clinton, not to mention the trashing of both Clinton and his wife---accused of everything from selling drugs to murder---all orchestrated by that paragon of manners, Tom DeLay. [...]-
These people are not only dishonest---they're not even smart. Not that I recommend nailing them at every turn, but I wouldn't be surprised if they try to do it to Democrats. If what Republicans have been practicing is bipartisanship, West Texas just flooded.
---November, 2006, following historic Dem wins in the House and Senate
Puppy Pic of the Day: Samson
block? Oh, we can dream...
on budget issues, I fear.
Before settling on the Democratic caucus, King said he spoke with more than a dozen senators from both parties. Those conversations included one with Sen. Roy Blunt, R-Mo., vice chairman of the Senate Republican Conference. Blunt and King met for about 45 minutes to discuss the possibility of King joining the Senate Republican caucus, Canney said. “It was a good conversation.”Yeah, other than being horrified by the GOP's stance on women's rights, education, clean energy, foreign policy, LGBT rights, science, health care, immigration, climate change and gun control, it was…y'know…it was good.
JEERS to one more FU to the 47 percent. On a farewell conference call to his financial committee, the 2012 Republican presidential candidate said he lost the election because President Obama bribed Hispanics and blacks and young people with "gifts":
“With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest, was a big gift,” he said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people.”Of course, all those things pale in comparison to the greatest gift of all to the Democrats this election cycle: Mitt Romney and the Republicans. Thanks, Santa!
JEERS to Charlie's Web. Maine Republican party chairman Charlie Webster was so sure that Democrats had been stealing elections, he forced precious time and taxpayer dollars to be wasted on an unnecessary statewide voter-fraud investigation that turned up---of course---nothing. Well, Mr. Paranoid is back, and this time his accusation has gotten a bit more colorful:
gerbils into Maine to
swing the election.
“In some parts of rural Maine, there were dozens, dozens of black people who came in and voted on Election Day,” he said. “Everybody has a right to vote, but nobody in (these) towns knows anyone who’s black. How did that happen? I don’t know. We’re going to find out.” When pressed by Carrigan about where this happened, Webster declined to give specifics or provide proof of his claims but said that the party would be sending out a mailer on the subject soon. …Got that? Democrats are so crafty that they apparently hatched a plan to send "hundreds" of black people to rural polling places where "nobody knows anybody who's black" in the hopes of adding Democratic votes to the totals in those areas without arousing suspicion. Brilliant! But wrong. The Democrats' real plan to keep winning elections in Maine is much simpler: keeping Charlie Webster's mouth in good working order.
“I’m not talking about 15 or 20. I’m talking hundreds,” he said.
CHEERS to Mary Had A Little Lamb. Back in the day, you could play that tune with the buttons on your touch-tone phone, which was invented on this date in 1963. It was almost as awesome as being able to spell out BOOBIES with your calculator by punching in 5318008 and turning it upside down. Man, we were wild back then. You kids have no idea.
Four years ago in C&J: November 15, 2008
JEERS to the guy we gotta deal with for another 67 days. While looking for stray quarters under parking meters in New York City yesterday, President Bush mumbled: "Our aim should not be more government, it should be smarter government." Proving that, if nothing else, he'll leave the White House with his sense of humor intact.
And just one more…
CHEERS to fresh coinage. Today, November 15th, is a big day for the U.S. Mint:
[Inserts four freshly-minted Alaska state quarters into squawk box]
"Denali National Park and Preserve, located in the interior of Alaska, is named for the local name of the highest point in North America, also known as Mount McKinley. Over 6 million acres in size, it is a mixture of forests, tundra, and glaciers, depending on elevation. Its history began when Charles Alexander Sheldon petitioned the U.S. Congress and the local citizenry to create a protected area for the indigenous Dall sheep. It was later established as Mount McKinley National Park on February 26.… Please insert four more Alaska America-The-Beautiful-Series state quarters to hear the rest of this program….."[Clink Clink Clink Clink!]
"…1917. The end."D'oh!
Have a minty-fresh Thursday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Governor Perry believes in the greatness of Cheers and Jeers and nothing should be done to change it. But he also shares the frustrations many Americans have with Bill in Portland Maine."
---Perry Press Secretary Catherine Frazier