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As he held the light blue bottle aloft, a smile hinted at the corners of his mouth. "Nothing more intoxicating than the tears of the powerful," Nate Silver took another swig and put down the bottle. He looked up at the interviewer and waggled the bottle "Rove's tears were collected at great risk to the seller on the night of the long knives" alluding to Karl's primetime meltdown. He stared at the paper in front of him ran his finger down the list and stopped at DeMint, James Sen. South Carolina. He logged into the Senator's webpage and encrypted a post that would play ABBA's "Waterloo" over a video of Senator Demint declaring that ObamaCare would be the president's Waterloo any time a user accessed the page.
    "It's getting all so boring," Nate complained as he stared at the 6 foot screen with a chess game well under way. He slid the mouse announced "Check", pushing the queen to the eighth rank, which was instantly taken by the invisible opponent. Immediately Silver swung the knight into play. "Suck it, Big Blue - That's mate.never heard of a queen sacrifice?".  The scoreboard showed "Game Over  WIN - NS  Wins NS 14 BB 0 draw 1" He instantly switched off the program and swung in his chair to stare out the window leaving the writer to stare at the game results.
     "I switched sides when BB was going to concede from a drawable position" Nate explained  as he peered skyward out the window. Suddenly he slid open the window grabbed a glass of water holding it up and out as he looked at the sky. There was a splash in the glass and Silver set the cloudy glass down.He slid the window closed and said "I hate looking at bird shit." Silver stood up and dumped the glass down the sink. " Let's get out of here."  
    The elevator door opened and Silver hesitated gesturing to the woman holding the baby to continue on without them. Silver conviinced the journalist to take the stairs though it was 5 flights and as they stepped into the lobby they saw the woman holding the infant apologizing to a man who was wiping furiously at his coat as they exited the elevator.

    Once outside the hotel, Nate took a look up and down the street, looked at his watch. "This way," he called out and strode down the sidewalk purposefully. The interviewer struggled to keep up. They walked past a group of children playing street football, a 12 year old boy ran up to Silver  and they had a feverishly whispered conversation. Nate peered down the street cupped his hand to the boy's ear, and whispered.  
     "Punt? - but it's 2nd down!" the boy blurted. Nate looked in the boy's face and shrugged. The boy looked incredulous and shook his head in disbelief as he trudged back to the huddle. The pair continued on their way and as they reached the intersection at the end of the block,they heard a thump sound whuile a semi with trailer swung around the corner. A football hit the trailer broadside and ricocheted back striking one of the the defender's backside and bounced up into the punter's hands as he ran unimpeded to the intersection where the trailer had been seconds before, screaming "Touchdown."
     Silver and the journalist stopped at the cafe and plopped down at a table. A waiter shortly appeared.
     "I'll have Dharjeeling with tangerine zest and my friend will have a double latte 2% and a sweet and low." Silver spoke to the waiter. After the waiter left the journalist  said " How did..." and Silver interrupted.
     "How did you know?" Nate mocked, "if I had a dollar for every time someone said 'How did you know'. Look - put your dick back in your pants. That's what you ordered yesterday. remember?"
     The writer reflected for a moment and then resumed the interview, "So, what's next for Nate Silver?"
  "Silver to gold, boss. Ludacris and I just made a Hiphop video Hiyo, Silver,  I just signed off on the fim version of my best seller Silver Rocket . They're in negotiations with Daniel Craig but I don't know...Oh and this: Mattel is coming out wih a Nate Silver action figure. It's part of the Highku/Lowku action figure teams. I'm in Highku with Rachel Maddow, Al Gore, Paul Krugman, and Stewart/Colbert the two headed fool. Lowku has Karl Rove, Sean Hannity, Paul Ryan, Ayn Rand , and Dick Cheney."

The waiter brought the drinks and a muffled melody of "Godzilla" emanated from Silver's jacket. He pulled the cellphone from his pocket, looked at it, held is hand over the phone, and spoke to the journalist.
    "I gotta take this," Silver turned and continued,"Silver...Oh, hi Joe...No, two grand...No, TWO grand....Look Joe, if you're gonna welch...I'm just saying...Yeah, two grand....Hurricane relief what did you think?...Yeah, that's right...Oh, and your country  thanks you for letting me take you're money... later Joe."
     Silver snapped the phone closed and looked at his watch, up at the sky, looked  around the room, stood up and said "Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please?"


What would Drunk Nate Silver Do?

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