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Boo F-ing Hoo.

Look who crawled out of the swamp of Florida Republican politics and tried to wipe the Christian evangelical mud of off him with some conveniently timed alligator tears! It's new Democrat Charlie F-ing Crist.

Tampa Bay Times: Charlie Crist regrets signing anti-gay marriage petition.

Asked if he regretted any decisions or positions he made as a Republican over more than two decades, Crist said, "There probably are a few," but everyone grows.

How about his signing the petition in 2006 to enshrine a ban on gay marriage into the state constitution? "Would I do it today? No," Crist said. "I think the best way to judge where my heart is is to look at the deeds that I have done, whether as attorney general, governor -restoration of rights, civil rights cases, things of that nature that I think show a compassionate heart and hopefully someone who cares and knows who the boss is - and the boss is the people of Florida."

Isn't that convenient?
Translation:
"I am a Democrat now and in deeply divided Florida were many Democratic/Republican elections are decided by very razor-thin margins I need every single vote, even nasty homosexuals I made a career of bashing.

So, what I need is LGBT people in Fort Lauderdale, Key West, Miami, Tampa, and other urban centers to immediately forget all about my four years of unbridled hostility on marriage, adoption rights, AIDS and HIV including my shameful record as one of worst AIDS Drug Assistance Programs in the country. Forget my opposition to employment discrimination protection and stacking the Florida Supreme Court with conservative justices that will reap Hell on LGBT people for decades, and vote for me in my next election, please. Thank you."

Florida LGBT activists do not seem impressed:

Dennis Godfrey: Michael, the man is a politician which means by its very nature, he's an opportunist. There are true public servants WHICH ARE FEW...and then there are politicians. We all know he's the latter. This should come as no surprise to anyone who's switched on.

Nancy Carola Jacobson: Not to mention two of the most conservative appointments ever to the Florida Supreme Court--Canady and Polston. As Ricky Ricardo would say, Charlie, you've got a lot of 'splainin' to do.

Wayne Dansbury: Like Rhett Butler 'I hate waste!' With that in mind, let's send 'Goodtime Charlie' back to school. Let him run for a state office- say state representative-

Pamela Kissinger: He didn't "come out"...he just changed coats, for he thinks a better opportunity. Wof, is a Wolf, is a Wolf. Like him, I do not.

Jack Crocetto: Creep that he is.

It looks like they are not, in the words of the Dixie Chicks, Ready To Make Nice, and who can blame them?

I'll make you a deal, Gov. Crist: How about performing a tangible and concrete act of penance?

Why don't you host a great, big high-dollar fundraiser for the LGBT rights group Equality Florida and invite all your favorite, swanky bipartisan friends? Then EQFL can use the money to try to undo all the damage you did as governor. Then come back and we'll talk.

Until then, your words are as hollow as your non-existent principles and you can save the sob stories for Barbara Walters' couch.

Originally posted to Angry Gays on Thu Dec 13, 2012 at 02:15 PM PST.

Also republished by Milk Men And Women and Daily Kos.

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