Monday rolls around again, as usual. It never fails to happen. It's so predictable! I suppose you could say the alternative is worse. Alternatively, we could extend weekends by one more day and all start hating Tuesday instead. That has my vote!
Now for the Twitter selection.
Humans share a common ancestor with chimpanzees. The chimps are appalled— Peter Flom (@peterflom) December 16, 2012
Egyptians passing new Constitution should be sure to specify no individual right to photon torpedoes so there's no confusion in future.— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) December 16, 2012
"Spending my Sunday attributing anonymous quotes to Morgan Freeman." - Morgan Freeman— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) December 16, 2012
I'm kind of stoked about the end of the world just to see what Google does with its home page.— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) December 16, 2012
FYI: Hundreds of languages & religions manifest around the world. But in every place on Earth, the laws physics are the same.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 16, 2012
Dominos founder suing over contraception mandate. Papa John whined about Obamacare. Herman Cain ran for president. Keep your eye on the pie.— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) December 16, 2012
GOP Rep. Louie Gohmert says more guns are the answer. Only surprise is he had just been asked what the capital of France was.— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) December 16, 2012
The Devil went down to Georgia because he was looking to marry his cousin.— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) December 16, 2012
I patiently explained to my daughter today that lights are tiny gods trapped in glass, plotting their vengeance.— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) December 16, 2012
If geeks ruled the world, we'd solve International crises overnight. But we might spawn new arguments about Kirk vs Picard.— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 17, 2012
Now for the history lesson:
On This Day
In 1538, Henry VIII of England was excommunicated by Pope Paul III for dumping wife number one for wife number two and pillaging all the monasteries.
In 1777, France formally recognized the United States. I wonder if she would still recognize us?
In 1862, General Ulysses S. Grant issued General Order No. 11, expelling Jews from Tennessee, Mississippi, and Kentucky. This was revoked a few weeks later by President Lincoln, and when Grant ran for President years later he claimed he signed the order without reading it. The order was ostensibly to stop a black market in cotton that Grant suspected "teh Jooz" of being behind.
In 1967, Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt disappeared while swimming near Portsea, Victoria and was presumed drowned.
In 1969, The United States Air Force closed its study of UFOs, declaring that sightings generally resulted from "A mild form of mass hysteria, Individuals who fabricate such reports to perpetrate a hoax or seek publicity, psychopathological persons, and misidentification of various conventional objects." Fox Mulder was not amused.
Born on This Day
1770 – (baptism date) Ludwig van Beethoven, German composer and pianist (d. 1827)
1853 - Herbert Beerbohm Tree, British actor/theater manager (d. 1917)
1859 – Paul César Helleu, French artist (d. 1927)
1881 - Jan Sluyters, Dutch painter (d. 1957)
1883 – Raimu, French actor (d. 1946)
1887 – Josef Lada, Czech illustrator and painter (d. 1957)
1900 – Katina Paxinou, Greek actress (d. 1973)
1929 – William Safire, American columnist (d. 2009)
1930 – Bob Guccione, American magazine publisher (d. 2010)
1935 – Cal Ripken, Sr., American baseball coach (d. 1999)
1936 – Tommy Steele, English singer and actor
1937 – Art Neville, American musician (The Neville Brothers)
1942 – Paul Butterfield, American musician (d. 1987)
1945 – Chris Matthews, American journalist, serial interrupter
1949 – Paul Rodgers, English singer (Free; Bad Company)
1958 – Mike Mills, American musician (R.E.M.)
1974 – Giovanni Ribisi, American actor
1980 – Eli Pariser, American political blogger and activist
1987 – Bradley Manning, incarcerated American soldier
Died on This Day
1830 – Simón Bolívar, Venezuelan military leader (b. 1783)
1833 – Kaspar Hauser, German foundling (b. 1812)
1957 – Dorothy L. Sayers, English mystery writer and personal favorite of mine (b. 1893)
1978 – Don Ellis, American jazz band leader (b. 1934)
1992 – Dana Andrews, American actor (b. 1909)
1998 – Allan D'Arcangelo, American artist (b. 1930)
2009 – Jennifer Jones, American actress (b. 1919)
2010 – Captain Beefheart, American musician (b. 1941)
2011 – Kim Jong-il, wacky North Korean leader (b. 1941)
Saturnalia, in honor of Saturn
National Maple Syrup Day
National Underdog Day